


you're as sharp as a knife & you fit like a glove

by queencrank



Category: Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coffee Shops, Crushes, Drunk Sex, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Eventual Smut, M/M, Phone Sex, Rating will change, Slow Build, Slow Burn, The rogermon is lowkey and background, Well it's more like tipsy sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-21 05:46:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 22,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9534308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queencrank/pseuds/queencrank
Summary: When Jack Merridew is paired up with Ralph Gornick for his final project in his English class, he can think of quite a few situations that he'd rather be in.But maybe, just maybe, it would work out in his favor.





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

> these first chapters will cover like a lil less than a week bc nothing is really happening  
> but as it continues, the chapters will be a day, two tops.

Merridew hears about the final project two periods before he even steps foot in the English hall.

 

'Clauss is giving out the final project today.' Roger tells him, voice thick with cigarette smoke. Merridew snorts and takes a drag of his own cigarette.

'Of course he is.'

'It's this big project - utter shit if you ask me. He pairs you up randomly, then assigns a bullshit novel that's about this thick,' Roger holds his hands a meter apart, 'that you gotta read then write about. Big load of bull.' The boy stubs his cigarette butt out on his shoe, then lights another.

'Who did he pair you with?'

'Some quiet dweeb, never really talks. I can't remember his name - all I know is that I ain't liftin' a finger to help with this, shit grade or not.' Merridew nods in agreement, and finishes his cigarette just as the bell rings, and lunch period is over.

 

Third period passes by excruciatingly slow, and by the time the bell rings, Merridew is itching for another cigarette, wishing he didn't leave them in his locker during class hours.

Merridew slides into an empty seat at the back of the English classroom just as Clauss - a fat, middle-aged man with a voice that could put anyone to sleep - is standing from his desk and gathering papers. He speaks, but Merridew has already tuned him out, opting instead to stare out the window. He hoped he got someone decently smart, who could do the entire project themselves and not sell him out to Clauss.

Fifteen minutes, and the man is still rattling on about the project. Merridew almost groans aloud, when he finally pauses, and shuffles his papers around.

'Alright then, onto the groups. Sit with your partner after everyone is paired off,' Clauss rattles off a few names, and Merridew picks at the dirt ringing his fingernails.

'Jack, you're with Ralph.'

'For the last time, Clauss, it's _Merridew_.' He says it without thinking, then stops cold when he processes the name of his partner.

_No. Nononononono. Not Golden Boy._

Paired up with Golden Boy, there was no way that Merridew wasn't getting away with not pulling his weight. He glares at the back of the other boy's perfect blond head, stewing, as the man names off the last few names.

Everyone then leaps to their feet, and slide into the seats by their partners. Golden Boy has swivelled in his seat to stare expectantly at Merridew - clearly he was expecting to stay where he was. Merridew stares resolutely ahead, and after a long stretch of time, he swears he can hear Golden Boy sigh from across the room. He gathers his things, then drops into the seat beside Merridew.

'Alright, Jack -'

'Merridew.'

'- I suggest dividing up the work as soon as we get the book. Do you have your cellphone with you, per chance?'

'Why?'

'So I can give you my number.'

'Look, Gornick, I'm not giving you my phone.' The words have barely left his mouth when Ralph's phone is on his desk.

'Here. Put your number in.' Merridew wonders how he was able to type his name in so quickly as he changes the contact name from his first name to surname, then enters his number. Gornick sighs.

'I'm not gonna call you Merridew, Jack. I think it's stupid and just a cheap way to make you seem tough. I don't give a shit what you call me, as long as you do your part.'

'I don't exactly give a shit about this project, Gornick. If you want it to be done right, do it yourself.' Gornick's mouth twists and he looks about two seconds from punching Merridew square in the face. Merridew decides to tone it down. His nose had already been broken enough times.

'Do your part, Jack.' Gornick doesn't talk about the subject anymore, waiting for their assigned novel patiently.

 

After school, Merridew is on his third cigarette when Roger finds him.

'Who did you get?'

'Gornick.' It's the first time Merridew has heard Roger laugh in a long time - and he doesn't like how it sounds.

' _Golden Boy_? Fuck, Merridew. Save yourself the trouble and jump off the roof.' Roger is still chuckling to himself as he lights one of his own cigarettes.

'I'm considering it.'

 

 

 

The next afternoon, Gornick is waiting for him as he strolls in, just shoving his pack of cigarettes in his book bag.

'Those will kill you, y'know.'

'Good.'

 

'God, he is infuriating!' Merridew never drank on weekdays, but here he was. Tuesday afternoon, sitting on the floor in Roger's room, a freshly opened bottle of rum in his hand. Roger hums in response, absorbed in his phone.

'He just has this stupid smile that makes me wanna - ugh!' Merridew squeezes the air as if he was throttling Gornick, 'Please tell me your partner is just as shitty.'

'Nah. Simon's alright, I s'pose. I'm thinking of actually helping - he said his home life wasn't the best. It's the least I could do.' Merridew makes a face and takes a long swig of the rum.

'Go fuck him then, if he's so great.' He pretends not to notice when his friend's cheeks go crimson, and makes a mental note to bring this new development up later. He was too preoccupied to tease him now.

Merridew takes one last swig, then offers it to the other boy.

'Nah. My mum will kill me if I drink in the house.' Merridew replaces the cap, snorting.

'When has that stopped you? - Open a window, won't you?' Roger looks up to see Merridew pulling the pack of cigarettes out.

'Go downstairs if you need a smoke. My parents are really cracking down on this shit.'

'Since when are you not fun?' Merridew takes one out and places it between his lips, but he doesn't light it. Roger doesn't reply, instead directing his attention to his phone when it chimes. Merridew takes his own out to find a text from an unsaved number, and tries to remember if he felt it buzz against his thigh.

 

 

 

> _It's Ralph._  
>  _Did you give me the right number?_

Merridew considers fucking with Golden Boy, but decides against it.

 

 

 

> _Yes Gornick._
> 
> _Good._  
>  _Save my number._  
>  _Did you start the book?_
> 
> _I will when I get home._
> 
> _Then get home_  
>  _It's boring but we need to finish it as soon as possible._
> 
> _Ok, mum._
> 
> _Jack._  
>  _I'm serious._  
>  _I don't want to fail dude._

Merridew doesn't bother replying, just tucks his phone back into his pocket. Roger looks deep into whatever the hell he was doing, and Merridew really needed a smoke, so he stands and brushes his rear off.

'I'm heading out.'

'Cheers.' Roger barely acknowledges him, intently typing at his phone.

 

As soon as Jack is out the door, he pauses to light the cigarette dangling from between his lips, then takes a long drag in relief. He looks up at Roger's window, closed tight with yellow light streaming into the late fall dusk, and blows the mouthful of smoke in the general direction of the other boy's room before starting off down the street.

* * *

 

Ralph sighs, lying back on his bed and poking at the thick book that sits on his bedside table. War & Peace was dreadful long and slow, and Ralph found himself falling asleep every other page. He _really_ wished Mr. Clauss had assigned them something easier - just because he got straight A's didn't mean he was able to handle the 1000 page book given to them.

He had texted Jack in an attempt to gain a update on how much of the book has been read, but the other boy was closed off and ended the conversation quickly.

Ralph attempts to continue reading, but there was too much to think about to even try. He closes the book again and sits up to put it in his bag, which sits at the foot of his bed.

To prevent himself from going insane from boredom, he texts Simon.

 

> _How's it going with Roger?_
> 
> _Good  
>  I think so anyways_
> 
> _What is he saying?_

Simon sends three screenshots of his conversation with Roger.

 

> _Is that flirting?_
> 
> _I think so??  
>  Bad flirting anyways._
> 
> _Do you think he likes me back?_
> 
> _I don't know_  
>  Be careful with him though.    
>  You know his reputation.
> 
> _He isn't like that  
>  Not really_
> 
> _Well as long as you know what you're doing._
> 
> _Thanks Ralph.  
>  I'll keep you updated, yeah?_
> 
> _Alright.  
>  Goodnight._
> 
> _Night._

 

English class the next day was almost completely silent - each group was reading their book, the silence only broken by the turning of pages, the clock of pens, and the occasional whisper. 

Ralph finds himself reading the same sentence over and over at least twice, and when he steals a quick glance at Jack he can tell he is having similar difficulties. He pulls out his notebook, and scribbles a quick note, then pushes it across the desks.

 

> **You doing okay?**
> 
> **Im fine.**

Jack's handwriting is reminiscent of his facial structure - all sharp angles and little to no curves. Ralph closes the notebook and puts it away, then returns to the pages, leaning on his hand.

 

After class, Jack's hand goes to his arm as he's packing up, so Ralph stops, looking back at him, raising a brow. The redhead looks nervous, so Ralph sets his bag back down. Jack opens his mouth, then closes it, then repeats this process several times before Ralph finally speaks.

'Get it out, Merridew. I need to get to class.' If Ralph didn't know better, he would've said that Jack blushed at his words.

'Forget it, Gornick. I'll text you later, all right?' Ralph nods, and stands, hoisting his bag over his shoulder.

He's almost out of the classroom door when Jack speaks in his ear.

'I thought calling by my last name was stupid and just a cheap way to make me seem tough?' Ralph pretends like he doesn't hear his words, and slips past a couple of girls to get into the stairwell.

 

But he can't quite focus on what the teacher was saying the period after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on [tumblr](http://savajack.tumblr.com) for fic updates!


	2. II

The bell had rung 20 minutes ago, and Jack still hadn't arrived.

He was lucky they were just reading, because if they weren't, Ralph would've had his head. 

> _Are you even going to show up?_

The read receipt shows up, but there is no reply, and Ralph purses his lips. He had half a mind to call him, right in the middle of class.

>   
>  _Make sure you read some of the book_  
>  _Please._

He sends these last two texts, then puts his phone away before Clauss caught him, and took the phone from him.

Ralph heaves a tortured sigh, and rests his forehead in his hand as he returns his partial focus to the pages before him. He was a little more than a quarter way through the book, but he usually would've been further. Well, he would. If he wasn't so preoccupied. If this book wasn't so _boring_.

After class ends, Ralph finally feels his phone buzz against his thigh.

> _Sorry Gornick_  
>  _Didn't feel like coming._

Ralph almost groans in frustration, seconds away from finding the asshole and throttling him.

> _Just come tommorrow alright?_
> 
> _We'll see._

Ralph is _so_ tempted to go find the asshole - he was probably smoking with his seedy friends, or doing drugs, or whatever Jack and the crowd he hung out with did with their gratuitous spare time - and break his nose. This leads him to wonder how many times it was broken - the poor thing seemed permanently purplish around the edges, and the bridge had several jarred bends. Ralph sighs and pushes Jack to the back of his mind, and continues on his way.

 

 

The next day is no better.

He waits for Jack for the first five minutes of class, book unopened on his desk. But then his phone buzzes against his thigh, and he doesn't even have to look at it to what it says. But he does anyway. 

> _Sorry Gornick._  
>  _You're just reading anyways_  
>  _No big deal._

Ralph grinds his teeth together, and opens his book.

 

 

It's the third day that Jack shows no sign of showing up, and Ralph is fed up. He asks to go to the restroom, and takes his bag. He has an inkling to where Jack might be.

Sure enough, Ralph finds Jack crammed between the Dumpsters and the back of the school, lit cigarette hanging from his lips and metal water bottle - which is probably filled with not-water - sits beside him. His eyes flick up at the sound of footsteps, and he takes the cigarette out of his mouth to speak.

'What's a nice kid like you doing in a place like this?' Suddenly, Ralph's mouth dries up, and his resolve is quickly weakening. Before he chickens out, he quickly speaks.

'I know you don't give a shit, Jack, but I don't want to get a bad grade on this project. Please just... Try.' Jack scoffs at this, and takes a sip from the water bottle.

'You have straight A's, Gornick. A C in English won't kill you.' Ralph takes a deep breath, then sits down across from him. The cold metal of the Dumpster seeps through his shirt, so he bends forward.

'Jack,' Jack's icy eyes roll, and a mouthful of smoke is blown in Ralph's face. He doesn't flinch.

'Gornick,'

'Jack, seriously. You gotta come to class.'

'Or what? Are you gonna get your rugby buddies to beat me up?'

'No. I can very well do it by myself. Sure, you're tall, but you're practically skin and bones.' Another roll of ice-blue eyes, then one of Jack's hands is on his knees, and his breath - hot, stinking of cigarettes and faint alcohol - is washing over his face.

'Take a chill pill, Gornick. I'll come when I feel like it.' An unlit cigarette is placed in his open mouth, and Ralph wonders how many packs Jack must go through. The redhead sits back and takes another drink, eyes never leaving Ralph.

'Do you want a light for that, Golden Boy?' Ralph has heard that nickname before, but always by his friends. There's something that squeezes when Jack says it, and Ralph isn't sure if he wants him to say it again or not. He hesitates, then takes the cigarette out from between his teeth.

'Nah. Cigarettes are expensive - I don't want you to waste one on me. Besides, football tryouts are in a couple weeks.' He holds the cigarette out, and Jack takes it, tucking it behind his ear.

'That's right - you probably don't even eat burgers.' Ralph shrugs, lips suddenly too dry.

'I try to stay healthy, yes.'

'Better get going then, Gornick. Secondhand smoke's a killer.' It's Ralph's turn to roll his eyes.

'I'll manage.'

Jack takes a long sip from his water bottle, staring at Ralph over it, and there is something in his eyes that puts Ralph on edge. Ralph pulls his book as an excuse to turn his attention away from Jack, trying not to cough when the smoke presses into his nose.

 

He looks up once to see Jack pull his knees to his chest, and heave out a sigh, staring at something far off. Ralph, eager to put an end to this awkward silence, brings it up.

'Why do you do that?'

'Hm?'

'Sigh so much. Why are you so angry?' Jack leans forward again, and Ralph hopes he won't come so close again. Instead, he just stubs his cigarette out on the pavement between his shoes.

''m not angry.'

'Could've fooled me.' Jack sighs again, sitting back and staring at Ralph in that same way as he did earlier.

'Just read your book, Gornick.'

 

It isn't the first time that Ralph was having trouble focusing on the pages because of Jack, and something tells him it wouldn't be the last.


	3. III

It's a week after their last encounter that Jack actually comes to class, ten minutes late.

He saunters in, bag dangling in his hand, and he smells especially strongly of cigarettes when he drops into the seat next to Ralph, giving him a terse and strained smile, a murmured greeting, before pulling his book out.  
  
The rest of the groups were either finished or on the last few chapters of their books. Ralph is also finishing the book, having exactly 103 pages left. He counted.

Jack, however, was barely half-way through.

Ralph watches out of the corner of his eyes as Jack purses his lips and furrows his brow, eyes quickly scanning across the pages, and he sighs. He knew that he wasn't even reading the book. He takes out his notebook, tears out a page, and writes down a note to his partner.

 

> **Come to my house after school. I'll help you catch up.**

He slides the note across the table, and pretends to return to his book. He sees Jack look up at him sharply, maybe in exasperation, but he can see the relief in his eyes before he crumples the note and shoves it into his pocket. Satisfied, Ralph truly returns to the pages in front of him.

 

After school, Ralph is just shoving his books into his locker when a hand presses to the small of his back, making him jump.

'How are we getting to your place?' Ralph glances over his shoulder to find Jack, looking around himself in a suspicious manner. He rolls his eyes, and closes his locker.

'I live close. We'll walk,' He slings his bag over a shoulder, and can hear Jack scoff as he walks a few steps behind him.

 

Ralph calls out when he gets home, out of habit, finding no one there to call back. There are still crumbs on the counter from breakfast, so he knew that the maids hadn't come by yet.

'Let's go to my room.' He glances over his shoulder to see Jack shrug, then leads the way up the stairs and into his room.

Once they are in his room, Ralph flops onto his bed and pulls out his book, glancing at Jack, who idly wanders around his room, looking at the little trinkets that he has lying around.

'I thought your room would be neater.' Ralph looks up from his work to see Jack pick up a photo frame - it was of him and his mother, when he was five.

'You think about my room a lot?' Jack flushes at that, and quickly sets the frame down again.

'That's not what I meant. It's just... You're just... You're you, Gornick. I thought you would have some white room with nothing but a bed and a dresser.'

'I'm in my house, not some insane asylum. Now - let's get you caught up.' Jack casts another glance at his dresser, touching the edge of a conch shell his father brought back from some island on his honeymoon, then walks over to the bed, sitting on the edge. Ralph ignores this ready-to-leap-to-his-feet-at-any-moment stance, and moves back to sit against his headboard to give him space, clearing his throat.

'Alright, Jack. Where are you right now?'

'I dunno. The Russian dude was talking to the Russian lady.' Ralph quirks a brow, and Jack sighs, bending over to fetch his copy.

 

The sun has well sunk below the horizon when Jack is more or less caught up to where Ralph is, and he glances out his window.

'When should you leave?'

'My mom's working the late shift.' Jack shrugs a shoulder, and puts away his book, standing to stretch. When he does so, his shirt lifts, and a sliver of pale stomach is revealed, and Ralph notices the many freckles dotting his skin. He looks away quickly, marking his place and setting his book on his nightstand. He looks back over to Jack to find him back at the dresser, looking at his things, and he can't help but join him, sliding off his bed and stepping up behind him on quiet, socked feet.

* * *

 

Gornick was turning out to be a lot more interesting than Merridew thought. When he had been let into the blond's room, it was far from the clean and sterile room he had always imagined Gornick going home to.

It was still neat, to Merridew's standards. A pleasant blue, with little furnishings, as to be expected. All that was there was his bed, neatly made, a square dresser with a mirror set in above it, and a desk and chair under the window. There was a shallow closet near the door into the hallway, but it looked to be half empty. But what Gornick lacked in furnishing, he had made up for in clutter. Various little knick-knacks sat on his dresser and desk, the biggest thing being a pink and cream shell that looked a little worse for wear.

After they had finished review, Merridew finds himself drawn to the knick-knacks again, for some odd reason. Only this time he senses someone behind him, their breath warm and pleasant on his ear. He stills, trying to remember hearing Gornick get up, and ever-so-slightly leans back against him.

'My dad got that conch for me the month my mom died.' Although Merridew is _very_ aware of his presence, he still jumps. Gornick's voice is soft and far off.

'When did she die?'

'I was twelve. Four years ago.' Merridew hums, eyes flicking to the picture frame he had noticed earlier, of a smiling blonde woman and a gap-toothed kid, a pair that could only be Gornick and his mother.

'Sorry.'

'It isn't your fault,' Gornick reaches around him, and carefully picks up a little porcelain turtle, painted vibrant greens and reds, 'last year I went with my dad to Mexico, I bought this at one of those tourist traps.' Merridew senses that the other boy wanted a change of topic, so he allows the conversation to direct away from dead mothers.

'Ouch, Gornick, those are fatal. Thought you would know better than that.' Gornick steps away from him, and Merridew almost misses it. He can see him now, didn't have the courage to look at their reflections in the mirror in front of him. The smile he wears is a mixture of all sorts of conflicting emotions, and Merridew isn't sure if he likes the expression or not.

He watches Gornick set the turtle back down, then quickly look over the other trinkets, before turning back to Merridew.

'It's getting late,' Gornick stands on his tiptoes to peek over his shoulder, wetting his lips with his tongue, and the tiniest part of Merridew is afraid that he'll kick him out, 'Do you want anything to eat?' His voice is still too soft for Merridew's liking, but he nods once.

'Sure, I could eat.' He follows Gornick back downstairs and into the kitchen that they had passed by when entering the house.

 

Fifteen minutes later, they are back in the bedroom, eating mediocre grilled cheese sandwiches. Gornick is sitting at his desk, legs tucked under him as he texts someone, eating his sandwich. Merridew catches himself staring and turns his attention to the quilt spread beneath him on the soft bed, running his fingers around the borders of the squares.

A few moments later, Gornick coughs softly, and Merridew looks up to see him watching him in an odd way.

'Do you... Want anything else?' Merridew sits back against the wall, shrugging a shoulders.

'You don't have to wait on me, Gornick. And no - nothing, thanks.' Gornick chews on his thumbnail, then collects their plates, setting them on the dresser. He seems to collect himself, then turn on his heel, a small and mischievous smile playing on his lips, and Merridew _knows_ that it's an expression he likes on Gornick.

'I didn't think you knew manners. I mean - you're just... You're you, Merridew.' Merridew chuckles despite himself, pulling his knees to his chest.

'Don't be an ass, Ralph. Can I smoke in here?'

'Sure. Just open the window.'

 

It isn't until half an hour later, when Merridew is leaving the house that he realizes what he called the blond.

It only troubles him a little bit that he likes the idea of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was lowkey out of my ~zone~ while writing the first lil bit of this so its??? not the best idk
> 
> i know literally nothing about war and peace other than its long and about russian people. so. yeah.
> 
> also ch. 4 was gonna be the last half of this chapter bc it is lowkey a big moment in the relationship??? but this chapter was only like 500 words long w/o it and that chapter was only gonna be 500 words, so i just have 18 chapters instead of 19 now, nbd.  
> calling jack 'merridew' in his pov is getting REAL tiring and i honestly??? cant wait until he sees himself as jack bc u gh


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a filler chapter, so it's a lil shorter than the others are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> charles = piggy!!!

Ralph can't quite get Jack out of his mind.

Not for the past week, anyways. Not since he came to his house, looked at his things with such interest. Smiled at him so softly, and called him Ralph. When he did that, Ralph's heart must've skipped five beats, and he couldn't quite breathe properly for several hours after Jack had left.

The entire weekend, Ralph had paced around his room, lost in thought as he tried to talk himself out of these new feelings.

 

On Monday, when returning to school in the early morning, his friends immediately sense something is off.  
Charles looks up from his revision, pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and squints at Ralph when he sits down in front of him, half an hour before the first bell.

'You look tired.'

'Didn't sleep well.' Ralph stifles a yawn and ducks his head - he had only glanced sparingly at the mirror before leaving, but he knew he looked horrible.

'How come?' Ralph shrugs a shoulder.

'I dunno, Charlie. Just one of those nights, I suppose.' The other boy looks down, going pink, and seems to struggle to continue. After a length of tense silence, Charles speaks again.

'You mentioned that Merridew came over to yours on Friday.'

'Yeah.'

'How'd that go?' Ralph struggles to keep his feelings for Jack hidden, and bites his lip.

'As well as could be expected, I guess. He was just... Jack, y'know?'

'You call him by his first name?'

'Yeah. We've been over this before, Charlie. It's stupid, and he's just trying to seem tough.' Charles lifts his shoulders to his ears, revision forgotten.

'I guess so.'

'Anyways, he just... Clauss couldn't have done a shittier job with the assignments in my case. A deadbeat partner, and a boring book to read. And Jack, he just... Is so... Ugh, you know?' Charles squints at him again, shoulders sinking slightly.

'You certainly have a lot to say about... Jack,' He looks around himself and leans in, 'Ralph, are you... Do you... _Like_ him?' Ralph recoils a bit too slowly, and can't quite authenticate his reaction.

'What? No, ew. Besides - you've known me since the seventh grade. I've only ever dated girls.'

'You and I both know that doesn't mean anything.' Ralph plays with his fingers, refusing to meet Charles' gaze for several moments. When he does look up, the boy is still staring at him expectantly, and Ralph breaks, leaning in close.

'Okay, fine. I might have a teeny little crush on Jack. So what? Is it against the law?'

'No, but you've been giving Simon shit about his... association with Roger. Don't you think that's a little hypocritical?' It's Ralph's turn to shrink, his cheeks heating.

'It's not like I'm gonna date Jack or anything. Whatever, alright? Can we just... Stop talking about this? Please?' Charles drops it almost immediately, turning back to his abandoned revision, and murmurs something under his breath that Ralph can't quite make out.

He doesn't have the guts to ask him to repeat what he said.

* * *

 

After Merridew gets home from Gornick's place, he had bolted straight to his room, locking himself in there. He drops gracelessly onto his bed, and pulls Gornick's Instagram up on his phone.

He had 76 pictures, but all but 3 were of other things than his face - friends, parties, beaches. Only one of the three pictures that had his face was him alone. A slightly blurry headshot, catching him in a candid moment of laughter. The lighting was poor and his face is crinkled in a huge smile, but Merridew finds himself smiling all the same.

He presses his mouth into a straight line and swallows thickly, staring at the blond's face.

'Ralph.' He says it aloud, and he's glad he's home alone. Merridew wishes that his name was longer, something not so simple, that he could take pleasure in curling his mouth around. He repeats the name again and again, until he stops thinking of the blond as Gornick, and starts thinking of him as Ralph.

What inspired this change, Merridew can't put his finger on. Maybe it was the warmth radiating off him when the blond stood behind him. Maybe the softness in his voice or the sadness in his smile.

Something about this night changed Merridew's view of Ralph. Something about him made him suddenly seem touchable, human. Imperfect.

And Merridew wanted to figure out what that something was.


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i stopped calling jack by his last name bc it was getting old so wOw ya

It has almost been a week, and Ralph has long accepted his feelings.

The whole week, the class had taken a break from the project to discuss another aspect of the English language, and Ralph could go back to his usual spot at the front of the classroom and not acknowledge Jack. But on Friday, they were back on the project, and Ralph was back to sitting uncomfortably close to him, something touching every time one of them moves.

So Ralph sits painfully still, not even reading his book as he stares at Jack through the corner of his eye. He had caught up to where he was in the book, maybe even a chapter or two ahead of him by now. The whole period passes by excruciatingly slow, a handful of hours tacked on from an inability to focus on the book in front of him.  
Finally, the bell sounds, and the class jumps into motion and chatter. Ralph marks his page, and is just picking up his bag when Jack's voice is in his ear.

'You didn't even turn the page. Something on your mind?' Two questions rush into Ralph's head, and he flushes. One; He knows. And two; How does he know that I wasn't reading unless he was watching? He pushes the questions away and turns his face towards Jack, his heart leaping into his throat when he notices how close they are.

'Nah. The book is just mind-numbingly dull, is all.' Jack pulls away, and gives him a strange look, but lets it go. Ralph breathes a sigh of relief, and turns his attention back to packing up his things.

 

After school, Ralph is deep in his locker when Jack comes again, leaning on the one beside his.

'Hey.' Ralph jumps and curses, thankful he didn't hit his head on one of the selves.

'Oh, hey.'

'Listen, Gornick,' Ralph can't help but feel disappointed as he watches Jack look around himself, 'I noticed that a lot of the groups are a lot further along than we are, and Roger told me that he's almost done.'

'Well, he and Simon practically spend every minute together.' Ralph shifts uncomfortably, and raises a brow as he pulls his bag over his shoulder.

'Anyways, I was thinking that maybe we could, I dunno, get together and catch up on it?' Ralph swallows thickly, and Jack straightens up, 'There's this new coffee shop down the street from my place.'

'I guess so, yeah.'

 

A twenty minute bus ride brings them out across the city. It's mostly silent, but when they get off, Ralph glances around.

'Surely there are different schools that are closer to your neighborhood?'

'My mom wants me to go somewhere that's better than the schools around here. And it's close to where my dad lives.' Ralph nods, holding his bag close to his chest as Jack holds the door to the small coffee shop open for him and ducking under his arm.

He doesn't order anything, just sits in one of the soft leather chairs, and waits while Jack orders something. He looks around the small coffee shop and chews at his nail. It's so small that it's almost cramped, the bar taking up most of the space.

Jack comes back with a coffee in hand, sitting down beside him in another leather chair. Ralph quickly takes out his book and opens it.

There was something on Ralph's mind, Jack could tell.

Even now, long out of school and in a different, more welcome environment then that of shitty, too-bright lights and too-large classrooms with too many students, he seemed out of it.

Without thinking, Jack rests his hand on the blond's knee and holds out his large cup.

'You want some of my tea?' Ralph looks simultaneously too pale and flushed, a contradiction that looks too good on him - as everything. His tongue darts out as he stares at him, but then he shakes his head quickly.

'That's okay. Thanks, though.' Jack shrugs and takes another sip of the scalding, bitter liquid and turns back to his book.

Another hour, and the sun is starting to set. Jack checks the time, then looks up at Ralph for the first time in an hour, and immediately forgets what he was going to say, mouth going into an O.

Ralph had gotten comfortable, curling himself into a ball, tucking his legs close to his chest, book resting on his knees. He chews on his nail, trained on the pages in front of him.  
He was gorgeous.

Fuck.

Jack swallows and then clears his throat, and Ralph looks up.

'Do you want anything to eat? If you don't have any money on you, I could...' Ralph immediately straightens out, and Jack wishes he hadn't said anything, watching him dig out his wallet. He had seen his house. Of course he would have money with him.

'Here. I'll eat anything, really. Surprise me.' He hands him a ten pound note, and Jack takes it carefully, setting his book on the little table in front of them.

For some reason, he agonizes over what to get Ralph, as if it mattered. Finally, he settles on a muffin, after what seems like an eternity.

When he returns, Ralph is in a similar position, feet tucked under himself now. He looks just as nice as earlier, and Jack pauses before handing him the muffin and change.

'You could've gotten yourself something, too.' Ralph's voice is barely above a whisper, and Jack wonders why. He shrugs a shoulder.

'I've my own money. Not hungry, anyways.' Jack watches Ralph out of the corner of his eye, not quite relaxed as he was before, picking a blueberry off the top. Jack tears his attention away from the blond, telling himself to finish the book by the time they have to leave.

He finishes the book in the next hour, and Ralph finishes soon after, sighing as he stretches, then packs his things away. It's dark outside, and Jack pauses.

'Do you want to just come over to mine? I'd feel bad making you bus back in the dark.'

'I can handle myself.' Ralph still looks uncomfortable when he glances outside.

'I know. But... Ease my conscience, alright?' Ralph relents, and calls his father to let him know.

 

Jack unlocks the door to his cramped house, suddenly very self conscious. Ralph is silent as he is lead to the back of the house.

'You can sleep in my bed if you want. We have a futon I could grab for myself.' Ralph lowers his bag onto the floor, and looks around the small room.

'I thought your room would be messier.' Ralph's voice is weak when he finally speaks.

'Hm?'

'It's just... You're just... You're you, Merridew. I thought you would live in some pigsty that stinks of cigarettes and liqueur.' Jack's ears go hot when he realizes he's been mocked, and he coughs.

'Har har. Maybe I'll make you sleep on the floor, no futon.' Ralph glances at the hardwood floor and wrinkles his nose.

'No thanks.' He sits down crosslegged on the bed, folding his hands in his lap, and Jack snorts, not bothering to answer as he pulls his cigarettes out, opening the window as he lights it, sitting down by Ralph's foot once he's happy. Ralph wrinkles his nose when Jack offers him a drag.

'Second hand smoke is a thing, Gornick. If you're gonna hang around me, might as well have fun and actually smoke.' Regardless, Jack leans his head back on the mattress to watch Ralph as he takes a long drag. Finally, Ralph holds his hand out for the cigarette, and Jack laughs, mouth full of smoke.

'Who says I'll hang out with you? I thought we were just partners on this shitty project.' Jack hadn't noticed his choice of words until Ralph spoke, but is saved by the blond coughing and gagging, clearly exaggerating, as he hands the cigarette back to Jack, muttering a complaint.

 

An hour later, and Jack is rolling out the futon, pulling a sheet over it.

'I'll sleep on it, it's no big deal,' Jack glances up at Ralph, who's picked up his phone, 'What's your password?'

'You're the guest. And it's none of your business.' He takes it from the blond and puts it in his back pocket. Ralph scoffs and falls back on the pillow. Jack stands, and for a split second, he can't help but appreciate the sight of Ralph in his bed, his thick navy quilt puffed up around him. Shaking the thought from his mind, pushing away the desire to crawl on top of him, Jack steps into the hall to find an extra pillow and blanket.

Half an hour passes, and the room is dark, silent except for Ralph's soft breathing. A few moments earlier, the blond's hand had dropped off the mattress to dangle in the open air. Jack stares at it in the poor light, mouth dry.

It takes a few minutes, but he gathers all of his courage, and gently takes ahold of his hand, holding his breath.

His heart stops when the other boy's fingers slowly lace through his, and squeeze gently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on [tumblr](http://savajack.tumblr.com) for updates on fics!!


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had gripped Jack's hand without thinking, glad for the contact, glad for the all but verbal confirmation that maybe, just maybe, they could have something.

When Jack wakes up, he is still holding Ralph's hand.

A quick glance at the blond's face in the poor light tells him he's still sleeping, so Jack carefully pulls his hand free, and rolls over so his back is facing the other boy. He cradles his hand to his chest as if it is injured, staring at a long scratch in his floorboards. Jack swallows, and prays that Ralph would wake up soon, so he could continue on with his day. He didn't want to dwell on this any longer - it was too much, too fast.

At night, it may be different. Under the cover of darkness and peaceful silence of the moon, when Ralph is too small and too fragile and too pretty for his own good, he could gather enough courage to reach out and touch Ralph in a way that is at least slightly resembling how he wants to. But in the grey of dawn, when he can see Ralph's peaceful features, he could barely look at him for too long without almost losing control. Jack has long come to terms with his sexuality, as has those around him, but there was something that he couldn't stomach about these apparent feelings for Ralph.

 

When he looks at the time on his phone, he sighs. It was obscenely early, and he was probably the only person awake in the neighborhood.

 

Hours pass, and there's a light touch on the small of Jack's back, making him jump. He hadn't heard Ralph move.

'Are you awake?' Jack rolls over to look at Ralph, and wishes he hadn't.  
The blond has pushed the covers off him, and he sits in the middle of the mattress, cross legged. He wears nothing but a shirt, socks, and briefs. Instead of letting himself linger on this, Jack raises a brow.

'You sleep with socks on?'

'My feet get cold.' Jack wants to say, _then wear pants_ , but holds back, lowering his gaze with a little too much difficulty.

'How did you sleep?' Ralph is massaging his hands, and Jack remembers how soft his skin is.

'As well as I could've.' Jack hears Ralph shift, then silence settles over them. Minutes seem to turn hours, then Ralph finally stands, and walks across the room, to where he had left his jeans - neatly folded - on his dresser. It takes all of his self control for Jack to not watch him. Desperate for a conversation other than sleeping, Jack stares at his blanket hidden legs and speaks.

'Do you want to get some breakfast or something?' Ralph is quiet for a beat, then answers.

'I could eat.'

 

Fifteen minutes later, they are sitting in a cramped booth in a shitty diner, both somewhat presentable. They've placed their order, and Ralph has spread his notes across the table. Jack picks at the split vinyl beneath him, tugging the yellow stuffing out of the hole that was there before they got there, watching as Ralph picks up various pieces of paper.

'Can you maybe stop working for 5 minutes?' Ralph's eyes leave the papers for a moment, then return to the neatly written words in front of him.

'We're super behind. We've barely finished the book, and, like you said, Simon is almost done.'

'And, like _you_ said, he and his partner spend every waking moment together.' Jack reaches across the table and pulls the papers from his hand. In doing this, their hands brush, and it seems as though a fire ignites across Jack's skin. Ignoring this as best he can, only wondering if he imagined Ralph's breath hitching or if it actually did so for a moment, he stacks the papers up neatly, and pushes them to the side. Ralph looks after them for a moment, clasping his hands together. He looks as if he's going to say something when a tired-looking waitress bustles around the corner with their order.

* * *

Ralph wishes that he had the cover of work to busy himself with. The rubbery eggs and slightly burnt toast is placed in front of him, and he can't bring himself to eat, instead taking a long gulp of the burned, watery coffee the waitress sets down next, ignoring when it scalds his tongue.

Although it had been hours, he can't stop imagining Jack's calloused fingers over his, rough palm setting against his much smoother one.

He hadn't slept well, staring at Jack's ceiling without blinking, barely breathing. He had gripped Jack's hand without thinking, glad for the contact, glad for the all but verbal confirmation that maybe, just maybe, they could have something.

But that was under the stars, when juvenile acts of holding hands in the dark, like he was in grade school again, sharing a bed with another boy at a slumber party, six inches apart except for their joined hands. In early morning, when calloused fingers are pulling away, too gentle that it felt wrong against the rough skin, it was different.

Now, Ralph can't build enough courage to look right at Jack, even though he itches to reach across the table and take his hand again, or, even better, lean across the table and -

'How did you sleep? I didn't ask at the house.' Ralph flushes, greatful to the interruption of his train of thought.

'I slept alright,' He lies, and takes another gulp of the too-bitter coffee, finally picking up the triangular cut piece of dry toast and spreading orange marmalade over it, 'I still feel bad for taking your bed.'

'What were we gonna do, share it?' Ralph feels a blush beginning to creep up his neck, and, fuck it, he has to look.

Jack is staring down at his food, but Ralph can see the pink on the tips of his ears, can see even at this angle that the red of his cheeks hides his freckles, and it takes all of his self control not to kiss him then and there.

'The weather has been really nice lately.' Ralph has gotten desperate, and blurts the first thing in his mind that isn't related to the boy in front of him. Jack picks up his fork, prods at his eggs.

'Yeah. Wonder how long it'll last.' Ralph takes a bite of his toast, glad to do something else with his mouth the next supply shitty small talk. He stares at his hand, and doesn't miss it when Jack's hand moves forward, edges back, then moves forward again. He freezes, hand going lax on the table. He, very subtly, moves his hand forward as well.

The tips of their ring fingers touch, and Ralph can hear Jack let out a tiny, shuddering breath. Then, the red head stands quickly,  whole face pink.

'I need to use the bathroom. I'll be... Excuse me.'

And with that, he hurries to the back of the diner, arms straight and stiff by his sides, fists clenched and shoulders hunched, and leaves Ralph, sitting alone, mouth hanging open, hand halfway across the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man i'm just ready for The Gay by now  
> also i wrote like three chapters so a lil mini spam


	7. VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another filler but i promise that the next two chapters will have some really good shit!!!!!

Two weeks pass, and neither of them acknowledge that Friday night, or the following morning. They barely speak, just work diligently on the project, both with earphones in.

Then comes Thursday, the final day before they would have to hand in the finalized product. Everyone works frantically, and Ralph forgets about the awkwardness as he runs over the checklist for the third time.

'Did you do the character analysis?'

'Yes.'

'The theme statement?' Jack rolls his eyes, and hands him the sheet.

'Here it is.'

'Did you -'

'Do the comparison of modern day Russia and Russia back then? Yes, Gornick. We're done. Chill.' Ralph gathers the papers and lets out a long sigh.

He wasn't nervous about handing in the project. He knew they would at least pass. No, he was nervous about what would happen after the project ended. He knew he wouldn't talk to Jack as much, that was a given. He would return to his seat at the front beside his friends and only greet Jack while passing by in the halls. But he didn't want that.

He wanted the exact opposite.

Ralph wanted Jack's arm slung around his neck and his lips on his temple, voice sweet in his ear. He wanted him, wanted to kiss him until his lips were swollen and sore, wanted to touch every inch of him, wanted to be touched by him.

He watches a little too closely while Jack pulls out a blank paper and neatly writes a cover page, follows him with his eyes when he stands and walks to the front of the class to fetch the stapler.

Ralph wanted Jack, plain and simple.

 

If Jack notices his stares, he doesn't let on. He simply staples all the papers together, and then tucks the stack into his binder for safekeeping, giving Ralph a tight before standing to return the stapler to Clauss' desk.

What Ralph couldn't figure out, however, was if Jack wanted him back.

* * *

 

Over the past two weeks, Jack thought about Ralph more than he would like to admit. He still refused to face his feelings, but he knew that dreaming about fucking someone senseless for three nights in a row generally meant that he wanted the relationship to be than a platonic one.

Just that morning, he had woken embarrassingly hard, with Ralph's face front and center on his mind. He had set to taking care of himself before his mother woke up, and quickly comes, Ralph's name a shuddering whisper that is barely swallowed as he bucks into the sock he had grabbed from the basket of dirty clothes, muffling any sound he made with the back of his hand.

And now, even with anxiety creasing his brow, Ralph was breathtaking. Jack had crushes before, but never as bad at this. Never so bad that he wanted to kiss him senseless, fuck him brainless, or just hold him.

Although he wasn't ready to face it, deep down, Jack knew that this was more than some high school crush.


	8. VIII

Ralph spends enough time moping about Jack that even Sam and Eric, ever oblivious to everything other than parties and the best places to buy weed, notice that something was wrong.

During lunch on the day that the project is due, the identical blond boys sit down across from Ralph. Sam has a plastic bag in his hand, and they both have huge grins on their faces.

'We know that you've been feeling down lately,' Sam starts, setting the bag on the table. Ralph still doesn't know what's in it, and, frankly, he doesn't care.

'So, we thought that we would bring you this. It always cheers us up when we're down in the dumps.' Eric finishes, and the bag is slid across the table. In it is one single brownie, but Ralph knows that it was less than innocent. He looks up from his phone, and raises a brow.

'I don't do that kind of stuff, guys.  You know that.'

'C'mon, dude! Loosen up!' Eric groans, rolling his head back.

'Yeah, man! Listen, if you don't want to get stoned at school, we get it. We're having a party tonight, and if you wanna...' Sam doesn't finish his sentence, pulling the bag back across the table and putting it in his hoodie pocket. Ralph sighs, but he knows that going out would do him some good, as well as getting Jack off his mind, even if it was only for a night. 

'Fine. I'll come. But no drugs, thank you.' Satisfied, the twins leave just as they came, joined at the hip as they duck out of the cafeteria just as Simon and Charles walk in.

 

After school, it takes his father some convincing, but he heads over to the twins' house for the party.

He's the first one there, and he learns that he was the only one that was definitely coming.

'Man, you know how Piggy is,' Ralph rolls his eyes at the use of Charles' old nickname, but doesn't say anything.

'And Simon will only come if he isn't with that guy he's been seeing.'

'So who is coming? Your stoner buddies?'

'Nah, mate, only some of them. Mostly people who are friends of friends of friends... You get the idea.' Ralph sighs, already regretting this decision.

 

An hour later, and Simon does show up, toting a bottle of wine that he probably stole from his parents' wine cellar. Ralph migrates over to him immediately. The twins' stoner friends have arrived, and Ralph couldn't stand them. The darker boy cast a glance into the main room, where more than a few joints are being passed around.

'Alcohol, drugs... Everything you don't like. How come you're here?' Simon's clear eyes turn to Ralph, and he sighs, bringing the wine into the kitchen, where the rest of the booze was.

'I dunno. Spent too many weekends at home.'

'Or... Maybe you're trying to get a certain someone off your mind?' Ralph feels heat rush to his cheeks, and he coughs. Simon smiles, and finds him a cup, pouring him a drink.

'Relax, Ralph. Live a little. You don't have to be Mr. Perfect here. Get drunk and find someone to make out with, get Merridew out of your mind.' Simon hands him the cup, and gives him a playful shove to the main room.

More people have arrived, but Ralph doesn't make an effort to find someone to distract himself with. Instead, he buries himself into the crowd that has gathered in the main room, letting the crush of bodies, stink of sweat and alcohol whisk him away.

Before long, he's lost count of how many drinks he's had. Sam appears, pulling him through the crowd.

The sitting room is much more quiet, although the music still pounds. Ralph expected the air to be heavy with smoke, but it isn't bad. Simon sits beside him, half enveloped in his phone. Sam and Eric stand in the centre of a circle of people he doesn't quite recognize but knows go to the same school as he. Ralph pulls Simon's phone from his hand and sets it on the floor.

'Roger can wait a night. Relax, Simon.' He shoots back his friend's advice in a whisper as the blond twins start to speak.

'How great does this sound, you guys? Hear us out - Truth or Drink!'

'Or, Spin the Bottle. Whichever you prefer.' It is drunkenly decided that they would play both, starting with Truth or Drink.

Ralph is asked four questions in the round;

Do you have a crush? (Yes.)  
Who is it? (He drinks.)  
Would you rather be itchy or sticky the rest of your life? (Itchy.)  
Who would you be stranded on an island with, out of everyone you know. (He drinks again.)

During Spin the Bottle, it only lands on him once, and he has to kiss a decent looking guy with brown hair across the circle. The kiss is nice, the boy is nice, but Ralph can't help but imagine Jack in the poor kid's place. Before he gets too into the thought, he pulls back, and the night continues on.

 

Admittedly, he drinks too much.

* * *

 

Jack is woken by the buzzing of his phone.

Groaning, he tiredly grabs it off the bedside table and squints at the name, then glances at his alarm clock, groaning again while rolling over.

'Hello?'

'Jack! Did I wake you?' Ralph's voice is too loud in his ear, too cheery. There is the faint pounding of music in the background of the call.

'Uh, yeah, kinda. It's almost 2 in the morning.'

'Oh. Alright, I'll let you... get back it, I suppose.'

'Gornick, you've already woken me up. What do you want?' There is a long silence, and Jack double checks to make sure Ralph hadn't hung up.

'Well, I'm at a party right now,'

'I could tell.' Jack interjects, voice dry.

'And I've had too much to drink. Half of my friends are already here, and drunker than me, and I know that Charles would be super pissed if I woke him. He has piano on Saturday mornings,' Jack sighs, sitting up, 'And my dad would kill me if he knew I was drinking, so I was just -'

'Where are you?' He asks it too quickly, and he tries to play it off as the thought that Ralph could do something stupid if he was too drunk to drive. Ralph's voice is meek when he gives him the address, and Jack wonders if he sounded too angry on the phone. He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, not even bothering to get dressed.

'You're lucky my mom isn't working, Gornick.' At that, Jack hangs up, and creeps down the hall into the kitchen to grab the car keys off the hook his mother put them on every night.


	9. IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit is startin to happen u guys hold onto ur butts

When Jack pulls up to the house in question, he sees Ralph, sitting on the curb, staring at his feet and looking absolutely miserable. He leans across the car to roll down the window, calling the blond's name. The shorter boy's head whips up, and he stands, swaying only a little bit, and walking briskly to the car, pulling the door open.

'Sorry.' It's all Ralph offers as a greeting, and Jack hums in answer, pulling out of the neighborhood.

'Do you want me to take you home?'

'No,' Ralph says it quickly, and Jack nods in acceptance, 'Just... Take me somewhere. I want to sober up.' Jack offers him a bottle of water, which Ralph gladly takes, taking a long drink. Jack drives to the first place he thinks of, the car silent.

 

The parking lot is empty, and the fast food restaurant is dark. The neon sign lights up Ralph's face in alternating pink and blue. Ralph has finished the bottle of water, and pulled his knees up to his chest. Jack finally speaks.

'I thought football season was coming up.'

'It is.'

'Then why are you drinking?'

'I can't wind down for one night?' Jack casts a sidelong glance, and is reminded of how Ralph looked in the coffee shop weeks before. Now, he was even smaller, even prettier, and - _he's drunk, Merridew. Don't take advantage of that_.

'You can.' He says, finally, and Ralph sniffs, resting his chins on his knees, silence settling between them once again. Then, Ralph suddenly breaks it off.

'I can't stop thinking about you, Jack.' Heat rushes to Jack's cheeks, and he coughs.

'Ralph,'

'Why do you do that? One moment I'm Ralph, and then - I don't know what to think, Jack.' Ralph has dropped his legs to the floor of the car, turning his body to face Jack, who stares ahead, whole body burning. Ralph's hand touches his arm, and Jack forces himself to pull away.

'You're drunk, Ralph.'

'So? It doesn't change the fact that I can't get you out of my mind. You held my hand, a couple nights ago. Do you remember that?'

'Of course I remember.' Jack grits out, and the hand is on his now, gripping tight. He takes a sharp breath in through his nose when Ralph's other hand goes to his forearm. _Don't do anything stupid. He's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk_.

'Then why are you... Jack, I _really_ like you.' He tries to form a reply, choking on his words, finally looking at Ralph.

The blond is smiling up at him like he's his whole world, eyes soft and full of tears that haven't fallen yet. Against his judgement, Jack clasps the hand over his forearm, and Ralph laughs, the sound nervous and relieved all at once. His gaze flicks to their tangled arms, then back to Jack's face. One of his hands comes up, and he cups Jack's face, cradling his jaw gently.

Jack hums, and leans into his warm touch despite himself. Ralph bites his lip, and leans forward to press his forehead to Jack's.

'Say something.' Ralph's voice has a note of desperation, his hand tightening over his forearm.

'Ralph...'

'Please, Jack.'

'I should take you somewhere. Let you sober up. I won't... I won't bring this up. We don't have to make anything out of this.' Ralph lets out a frustrated noise and pulls away sharply, throwing his hands up.

'I _want_ to make something out of this, Jack! I want you!' Jack loves the sound of it, wants to hear it whispered and moaned over and over into his ear while he takes this boy apart.

'That's just because you've had too much to drink, Ralph. You wouldn't be saying this if you were sober.'

'Yeah, but I'd be thinking it.' Ralph had turned petulant, sitting against the car door, arms crossed across his chest. Jack sighs, looks over to him.

'I... I know, Ralph.' He can see Ralph stiffen, look towards him, out of the corner of his eye.

'Jack,' Ralph moves back towards him, fingers sliding over his too-sharp cheekbones gently. Jack tries not to shiver under his touch, eyes closing as he melts, ever so slightly, into Ralph's hands. It had been too long since anyone had said these things to him, touched him like this, and, for a moment, Jack forgets about the sweetness of mixed drinks that hangs heavy on Ralph's breath, forgets that there is probably more vodka pounding in his veins then there is blood at the moment, and he grips Ralph's wrist tightly, breath shuddering.

'Kiss me.' It all comes rushing back with Ralph's heated whisper and it takes all he has to pull back.

'Wait until you're sober, Ralph.' He drops his wrist, and Ralph groans in frustration again.

'Why do you keep pulling back, Jack? It doesn't matter if I'm drunk, I want this. I said it before, and I'll say it again - I want _you_.' With some awkwardness, he climbs into Jack's lap, and tugs at the collar of his shirt. He noses along Jack's jaw, breath too hot on his ear.

'Ralph, please.'

'Jack, just... Shut up, for once. Please.' Jack closes his eyes, trying not to give in. _He's drunk, he'll regret it._

 _He's too good for me_.

Ralph pulls back, and pulls Jack close, holding his collar tightly.

'Kiss me.' He whispers again, and Jack wets his lips with his tongue, the thought ever appealing. When he doesn't, Ralph does it for him, pressing his lips to the taller boy's.

His lips are soft, warm and wonderful over Jack's chapped ones, and the kiss tastes of sweet drinks and sweat. Ralph's hands are in his hair, curls wrapped taught around and tangled through his graceful fingers. Jack grips at his waist as he clumsily kisses back, and one would think he was the drunk one in this car.

Ralph breaks to gasp for air, looking at him strangely, and Jack is about to ask what is on his mind when he speaks.

'Can we go somewhere? Please?' Jack bites his lip, wants to say yes, wants to give Ralph anything and everything he wants. Ralph kisses him again, heated and desperate, hips pressing against his. With all the hesitation in the world, Jack pulls back.

'Is there a friend's place you can crash at?' He stares at Ralph's lips in the neon lit half-darkness, wants to kiss him again and again and hold him close. Ralph slumps back against the wheel, then sighs and climbs off his lap, sliding into the passenger seat.

'Yeah. I guess I could crash on Charlie's couch.' He quietly gives him the address, and Jack, half hard, starts the car.


	10. X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this used to be two filler chapters but that was too extra so i made it into one

The next day, Ralph awakes on the couch in Charles' room, arms wrapped under and around a pillow. He's been drooling. Ralph sits up, and immediately regrets it when a headache slices through his skull and pounds at his temple. He groans and falls back face first into the couch.

He was lucky that Charles' aunt was a heavy sleeper, and that the loveseat in his room was more comfortable than the sofa in the living room. If the poor woman found him in the morning, she probably would've called his father on his still-half-drunk ass.

'Good morning.' His friend's voice sounds behind him, and he takes a peek to see the stout boy holding a steaming mug. He only grunts in reply.

'Why was Merridew with you last night?' Ralph blinks and rolls onto his back.

'What?'

'He dropped you off here around 2:30 in the morning.'

'Aw, shit. Your piano lessons.'

'I don't have them today. Answer the question, Ralph.' The mug is set down on the side table by his head, and Ralph winces at the loud sound.

'Shit, Charlie, I dunno. Probably called him to give me a ride here.'

'Why didn't you just call me?'

'Man, I barely remember half of last night, don't ask.' Charles raises a brow, and leaves the room. Ralph slowly sits up and finds his phone. There weren't any embarrassing texts sent, but something tells him he did something he shouldn't have the night before.

He knew that Sam and Eric probably weren't up yet, as if they would be able to give any answers anyways, so he texts Simon.

> _Hey. Do you know if I did anything stupid last night?_
> 
> _We played spin the bottle. You kissed someone._
> 
> _Who?_
> 
> _Idk._  
>  _Someone I don't know_
> 
> _Is that it?_
> 
> _As far as I know. You left with Jack pretty early._
> 
> _Was he there?_
> 
> _No. You said you wanted to go, you were pretty drunk._
> 
> _Thanks Simon._

After that, he decides to call Jack instead of text him. He didn't feel like the effort. The call is answered on the second ring.

'Hello?'

'Jack, hey.'

'Ralph. Uh, about last night-'

'That's what I'm calling about, actually. Did I do anything stupid?' The line is silent, 'Hello?'

'Uh, you don't remember?'

'No? What did I do?' More silence.

'That isn't important.'

'Jack,' Jack sighs, and Ralph can hear a bed creak under him as he shifts. There are several beats before he answers.

'You kissed me.' Immediately, heat floods his cheeks, and his hangover is momentarily forgotten.

'Shit. Fuck, shit. I'm so sorry, Jack. I had a lot to drink-'

'I know, Ralph. It's okay.'

'No it isn't, Jack.' Ralph couldn't believe that he had kissed Jack, and didn't even remember it. The first kiss between them - and hopefully not the last - couldn't have gone worse.

'We don't have to make a big deal about it,' There's a squeezing in Ralph's stomach that he can't explain, 'You were drunk. It happens.' Ralph chews on a nail, then nods, despite the fact that Jack can't see him.

'Yeah. Okay.' The call is ended, and Ralph falls back on the sofa, hiding his burning face in his hands.

* * *

Roger is sitting across from him when Ralph calls.

'It's Ralph,' He mouths before picking up, and the dark-haired boy rolls his eyes, listening in on the conversation. His eyebrows shoot up when Jack mentions the kiss, and smacks his arm.

'Tell me everything,' He mouths back, then makes a motion of hanging up a phone.

'We don't have to make a big deal about it. You were drunk. It happens.' Jack wants to make something out this incident, so badly, but Ralph sounds relieved when he answers.

'Yeah. Okay.' Jack hangs up, pretending as if his heart isn't squeezing in on itself. Roger edges closer, eyes narrowing.

'I thought you hated Gornick.' Jack rubs at the side of his phone, shrugging.

'I never _hated_ him.'

'But you never liked him. And now you're making out with him in your mom's shitty car?' Jack sighs.

' _I_ didn't kiss him, he kissed me.' Roger gives him a look that says _Are you shitting me?_ and leans back in his seat.

'So what are you gonna do about it? You're obviously into him.'

'Who says that?'

'Your face. Are you gonna ask him out?'

'No. Nothing. I'll just forget it ever happened.' Roger sniffs in disdain, mumbles something under his breath as he stands up, wandering around his room. Jack purses his lips, watching him as he examines the various bottles of cologne and lotion on his dresser.

'How come?'

'What?'

'You like Ralph, and he obviously likes you, if he kissed you. Ask him out.'

'He was drunk.'

'So?'

'He would've kissed anyone. Probably did before he called me.'

'Yeah, he would've probably kissed someone attractive. But, no offense Merridew, you aren't exactly a male model. What did he say to you last night, before he kissed you?'

'He just... I dunno, told me stuff.'

'Stuff?' Jack sighs - he hadn't told Roger about how Ralph had spent the night.

'He stayed over, a couple weeks ago. We kinda held hands, by accident,' Jack chooses to cut out the little detail of reaching out for the blond's hand, 'and he told me how he couldn't stop thinking about that. About that night.' Roger looks at him like he's the world's biggest idiot, putting down the bottle of lotion he was holding.

'You gotta go see that boy. Or call him, something. _He's into you_ , Merridew. You're into him. Go fuck him,' Jack makes a face, and Roger squats in front of him, voice quiet when he continues, 'Go ask him out before you lose the chance, Jack. He's good for you.' Jack sighs, looking at his phone. Ralph's contact information is still open, and his thumb hovers over the call button. Roger gives him a shit-eating grin, and ducks out of the room.  
Jack sighs again, and presses call.

 

As soon as the phone starts ringing, Jack chickens out and hangs up, quickly dropping his phone and standing up. His arms are stiff by his sides as he lurches forward, trying to talk himself back into it.

'C'mon, Merridew. You can do this. It's just a phone call. That's all it is. 'Hey, Ralph! Just calling to let you know that I have a giant crush on you and I couldn't sleep last night because of that kiss! Okay, see you in class!'' Jack sighs, wrapping his arms around his middle and squeezing, as if that would help calm the butterflies that are fluttering wildly in his stomach. He takes a long breath, and slowly sits back on the bed, not trusting his shaking legs to hold his weight.

Jack tries again, breath shaky as the phone rings, once, twice, three times, and Ralph picks up, voice hoarse.

'What?' Jack flushes deep, his mouth suddenly filled with cotton. He coughs.

'Oh, shit, hey, Ralph! I uh, must've butt dialed you or something.' He hears a bed creaking, and winces.

'Ugh, gross. Is that it? I was kinda sleeping off this hangover.' Jack has half a mind to let him go back to sleep.

'Uh, fuck, actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.' Ralph sighs, yawns, and then the line is silent. Jack waits for a reply, chewing on his nail. After a long silence, expectant on both ends, Ralph speaks, sounding more annoyed than anything.

'What is it, Merridew?' Jack flushes deeper, if possible, and coughs again.

'Oh. Right. Well, uh. Last night, y'know.'

'Yes...' Ralph's tone is more alert now, and Jack can hear the bed shift again, and he assumes that the blond is sitting up. He tries not to imagine him all disheveled and tired, and stumbles on.

'Uhm, well, fuck, Ralph,'

'Yes?' His voice is soft, and Jack really wishes he had done this in person, burning face regardless.

'I was thinking... About it.' Ralph's breath catches, and Jack chews on the inside of his cheek, wanting nothing more than to hang up and get on a bus, go to his place.

'About what, Jack?'

'Fuck, Ralph, don't make me say it.' Jack's voice seems to be failing.

'Tell me.' It sounds like Ralph's about to cry, and Jack wants to kiss him so bad. He's about to continue when Ralph curses, and the bed creaks loudly.

'My dad's home. I gotta... He'll kill me if he knows I stayed out all night, that I'm hungover.' Jack wants to protest, wants to whisper sweet things through the receiver, or, even better, in person, lips flush to his ear, 'I... I'll see you. Right?' Jack takes a shaky breath.

'Right.'

'Okay. Bye.' With that, the line goes down, and Jack leans back against his wall, eyes squeezing shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok ok this marks the beginning of The Gay™  
> all the chapters after this will be Gay™ in some way
> 
> follow me on [tumblr](http://savajack.tumblr.com) for any updates!


	11. XI

It had been an entire week since Jack had called Ralph, and he was starting to think that he imagined it.

On Saturday morning, he was sure that it was something his mind made up to distract him from his sore eyes and pounding migraine, but after he had sobered up, and checked the call history on his phone, he had been assured that it had happened, and the chances of something happening between him and Jack were significantly brighter.

But it's Friday evening, and Jack had spent the whole week pretending as if they hadn't kissed, as if he hadn't almost confessed his feelings towards him, tone vulnerable and weak over the phone, and Ralph was starting to doubt that anything would happen outside of drunken kisses and almost-confessions.

He chews at his nail, staring at the call time - 2 minutes and 53 seconds - as Simon kneels behind him, watching over his shoulder.

'If you're that hung up on him, invite him to the twins'. Maybe something good will come out of it.' His friend clasps his shoulder, then returns to whatever the hell he was doing. Ralph hesitates, and then opens his messages.

 

> _Hey.  
>  There's a party happening tonight  
>  You in? _

The read receipt comes up, and is left for three minutes - Ralph counts - before a reply chimes.

 

> _Sure  
>  Where?_
> 
> _The same place as last time.  
>  You remember?_
> 
> _Yeah.  
>  What time?_
> 
> _Simon and I are leaving now.  
>  Come whenever._

Ralph tucks his phone away, and turns to the darker boy behind him.

'Sorted. You ready?'

 

When they arrive, the party's already in full swing. Simon disappears into the crowd in the direction of the kitchen when his phone chimes, and Ralph wanders into the sitting room.

He finds Jack already there, talking to one of the twins' stoner friends, looking desperately bored. Ralph comes up behind him, and lightly touches his upper back, right between his shoulder blades. Jack jumps, and looks relieved when he turns.

'Hey, Gornick.'

'You been here long?' Jack takes a sip of his drink. He seems too tall, too gangly in the sitting room, even though the ceiling is high and it's a spacious room.

'Nah. Just got here. You want a drink?' Ralph shrugs, lets Jack lead him through the house. Although he could only have been here ten minutes, tops, he seems comfortable with the layout, and Ralph wonders if he had been here before. He didn't seem one for parties, or weed, both of which were Sam and Eric's two sole interests.

The kitchen's lights are harsh compared to the sitting room and hall, and Ralph blinks in them as Jack scans over the impressive selection of alcohol.

'What're you feeling like?' This is as loose as Ralph has ever seen Jack, and he wonders if he's already drunk, or at least tipsy. Ralph decides to test the boundries of this laid-back version of all-sharp-angles-and-sharper-words Jack Merridew, and steps up behind him, close but not quite touching. He stands on the balls of his feet to look over the redhead's shoulder, and examines the bottles for himself.

'What do you recommend?' He carefully sets a hand right beside one of Jack's, which are on the table in front of them, gripping tight around the edge.

'Something strong?' Ralph smiles, tilts his head to look at Jack. He's blushing. He presses his front to his back, runs his pinky up his forearm.

'Sounds good to me.' He steps back then, and hops up on the table, watching Jack as he pours amber liquid into a cup. He hands it to Ralph, and tops up his own drink. Jack sets his cup down, takes a deep breath, and then turns to Ralph.

'We never... Talked about that call.' Ralph hesitates, then slides down from the table, turning on his heel.

'Follow me,' He glances over his shoulder to see Jack grab a bottle from the table, then slips out into the low light of the hall, then upstairs. He banks on the hope that no one would be occupying any of the bedrooms. He opens the first door on the left, glad that the guest bedroom is empty and dark. He flicks on the light, and sits on the bed. Jack closes the door and sits beside him, setting the bottle on the bedside table. Ralph moves closer until their thighs touch.

'How much have you had to drink?'

'About one cup this size.' He lifts his newly filled cup to show Ralph, and he nods, ghosting his nails over Jack's arms, watching him shiver. He takes a long gulp of his drink, trying not to wince when it burns going down.

'What were you gonna say? Last week, I mean.' Jack takes a shaky breath, and looks over to him, trying to move closer. He takes a long drink.

'Ralph... I really... You're great.' Ralph goes pink at the suggestion under the clumsy delivery, and nods quietly. Jack leans forward, pushes his nose into Ralph's hair, 'I can't stop thinking about that kiss.' Ralph can't quite focus on his words, the smell of cigarettes and alcohol and faint cologne washing over him.

'I wish I remembered it.' He presses into Jack, voice soft. Jack pulls away, finishes his drink, and Ralph quickly follows, wincing at the burn. He sets the glass on the floor, then turns towards Jack, wetting his lips. Jack glances towards him, then wraps his hand around his elbow, holding him gently.

'We could... Do it again.' He runs his nose along Ralph's temple, cupping his jaw in one hand.

'Okay. Yeah. Yes.' Jack hums, lips brushing just beside his eye. Ralph turns so their knees bump together, then looks up. Their eyes meet just before their lips do, then Ralph closes his eyes.

Although there is a pleasant hum in his chest, he knows that he isn't drunk enough that he would forget this, and he's glad. Jack's lips are chapped, but warm, and the kiss is soft. He grips at Jack's forearms, leaning into the kiss. Jack cups his face, holding him still as gentle as he could. Eventually, Ralph's lungs start to burn, and he has to break away. Jack doesn't pull away, thumbs rubbing over his cheekbones. Ralph doesn't open his eyes, pressing his cheek into one of his hands.

'Ralph,' He hums in response, holding onto his wrists, 'look at me. Please.' Ralph does as he's asked, meeting his gaze. Jack moves his hands to brace on either side of his neck, and he kisses his forehead.

'Jack. I really... Want to touch you right now.'

'Who's stopping you?' Ralph hums again, and then climbs into his lap. He blindly reaches for the bottle, and takes a long drink from it, hands suddenly shaking. Jack lets go of him to take the bottle, bringing it to his lips. Ralph leans in, mouthing at his jaw until Jack gently pokes at his shoulder with the bottle.

'You want the rest?' Ralph pulls back, finishes the bottle. Jack takes it from him again, sets it on the bedside table. 'Stand up for a second, Ralph.' He gets to his feet, knees quivering. Jack lies back on the bed, and then motions for Ralph to come closer. He does, climbing on top of him, straddling his waist and sinking down low, holding his weight on his elbows.

'I want you, Jack.'

'How drunk are you?' Ralph stops to consider, then laughs quietly.

'Not enough. You?'

'Barely tipsy, sweetness.' Ralph flushes deep at the pet name, pushing his nose under Jack's jaw.

'Good,' Jack kisses the side of his head, hands warm when he slides them up his back, under his shirt, 'Please, Jack. I want to feel you. See you. I _want_ you.' Jack pulls back, pushes at his shoulders gently.

'Look at me,' Ralph sits back, and Jack leans in, kissing him.

'Jack,' His voice comes out in a sob.

'I know, baby. Are you sober enough? I don't want to take advantage of you.'

'Even if I was sober, I'd still want you.' Jack considers this, then nods, once.

'Alright. We'll... We'll do this.' Ralph hums in delight, and kisses him a bit too roughly, then moves back to tug at his shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLD ONTO UR ASSES THE SMUT IS A COMIN


	12. XII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ralph has the prettiest face Jack has ever seen.

He sits close, too close for his own good, and all Jack can think about is his pretty hands, his prettier lips. He can barely focus on the words he says, tumbling out with no grace. But something he says makes Ralph blush, and he wants to kiss him, touch him, break him down then put him back together again. Wants to hear his name moaned and whispered and whimpered again and again.

And then, he's leaning in, nose pushing into his hair. It's all he can do to stop himself from gripping the blond and kissing him senseless, kissing him until his pretty lips are swollen and red. He smells nice, of course he does, smells of expensive shampoo and the cheap booze that hangs on his breath just makes it better.

Jack pulls back to finish his drink, desperate for a return in focus. He wants to remember this and keep every detail sharp in his mind. He takes a shaky breath, blinking. Ralph winces beside him, and he reaches out, gripping for something to keep him grounded. He says something else, doesn't think about what comes off his tongue, doesn't care. All he cares about is the blond beside him, jaw fitting perfectly in his palm, like he was built to fit against him. An affirmative is given to whatever he says, and then, _oh God_ , their lips are pressed together, and he isn't sure who caused it.

If he thought that his jaw was built to fit in his palm, then he knew that their lips were made to be slotted together. The first kiss was too frantic, too rushed, and he was too distracted with the guilt of kissing a wasted boy in his mother's car. But his focus is sharpening with each movement of Ralph's lips, and he makes sure to take it slow, keep it as chaste as he can manage.

And then Ralph's pulling away. Jack panics for a moment, fingers sliding into his hair. He goes to pull his hands from his cheeks, waiting for the regret or anger to take Ralph's serene features. But there is no negative emotion on the blond boy's face. He says his name, and hands are locked around his wrists.

'Look at me. Please.' He waits to see disgust in his eyes, but when Ralph opens them, the only thing in his tawny eyes is a slight unfocus and something that Jack describe, but knows is good. He kisses his forehead. His name is said, then the words following make his mouth go dry.

'I really... Wanna touch you right now.'

'W-who's stopping you?' Then Ralph is in his lap, taking a swig from the bottle of whisky that Jack had swiped from downstairs. He takes it from him, and takes a long enough drink that the edges of Ralph's face softens. He can't focus when the boy begins to kiss his neck, and he wants to be aware. He taps his shoulder, offers the rest of the whisky. He watches Ralph down the rest of the alcohol, and suddenly decides that this position wasn't comfortable enough.

'Stand up for a second.' He steadies the boy when he looks as though he might stagger, then lies back. Ralph climbs back on top of him, and Jack is once again caught by the way he looks, perched on top of him, and he hopes to God that he'll remember all of this in the morning.

'I want you, Jack.' Jack feels warmth pool in his stomach, and swallows.

'How drunk are you?' He must be wasted. There was no way he would want him if he was sober.

'Not enough. You?' Ralph laughs softly, and Jack could listen to that sound for hours and not get tired of it.

'Barely tipsy, sweetness.' He wants to stop the pet name, but he's glad he didn't when Ralph turns a pretty shade of pink. The blond pushes his nose under his jaw, and his breath is pleasant on his neck.

'Good,' Jack lifts his shirt and runs his hands up Ralph's bare back in a moment of boldness, feeling the muscles working beneath his skin, 'Please, Jack. I want to feel you. See you. I _want_  you.'

'Look at me,' Ralph does, and Jack can't help but kiss him again. His name is whimpered out, and he pulls back, pushing Ralph's hair from his face.

'I know, baby. Are you sober enough? I don't want to take advantage of you.' He didn't want awkwardness and rushing out in the morning, regret and hurt and sadness. 

'Even if I was sober, I'd still want you.' Jack's mouth goes dry when the realization dawns on him.

'Alright. We'll... We'll do this.' Ralph makes the cutest noise of victory, then he kisses him. This kiss is harder than the other two, and their teeth bump together once. Ralph pulls back as quickly as he leaned in, and tugs at Jack's  shirt.

Although he is hesitant to, he lifts his arms and lets Ralph take off the garment. He doesn't want Ralph to see the ridiculous amount of freckles or see that he was too lanky, all angles and no curves. But Ralph grins when he does, touching him in a way that makes him like the spattering of freckles across his torso.

'You're not as hard on the eyes as I expected, Jack.' Jack goes hot at that, and Ralph grins wider, planting a kiss on his chest, over his heart. His fingers run up his ribs and down his spine, and Jack tries not to shiver.

'Your heart is beating so fast.' It's not a question or a teasing remark. Just a calm statement as Ralph's tawny eyes find his, one hand laying over his heart. Jack swallows thickly.

'Take your shirt off.'

'Wait.' Jack nods despite the desire to see him, golden and perfect. Ralph smiles, presses on his chest with the same hand that laid over his heart.

'Lie back.' Jack does as he's told, and Ralph holds his gaze, calm and steady, as he moves off him to unbuckle his belt.

'Have you been with many guys?' He doesn't realize that he said it aloud until Ralph flushes.

'No. You're the first.'

'Have you been with many people?'

'Only two.' This surprises Jack, but he doesn't press, lifting his hips when his zipper is pulled down. Ralph pulls his trousers off, then stops, looking helpless.

'What... What do I do now? What do you like?' Jack sits up, removes his shorts. He feels too exposed, completely naked while Ralph was fully clothed, but right now, Ralph's comfort was more important.

'Do what you like, and I'll tell you if I don't like it.' He holds his weight on his elbows, watching as Ralph chews his lip, eyes darting over his naked form. Finally, he takes his cock in his hand, and leans down, pressing a warm kiss on the head. Jack gasps, and nods when Ralph looks up at him. That's all Ralph needs to take him into his mouth, gagging and pulling away before he gets halfway down his length.

'Go slow. It's not that hard.' Ralph  licks his lips, and nods, doing as Jack suggests. The sight was amazing. He thought his lips were pretty before, but when wrapped around his cock, they were the prettiest damn sight on this planet. Who needed sunsets and Grand Canyons when he's got this?

His teeth scrape once or twice, but Jack tries not to wince, just mumbles, 'Teeth,' and give a soft tug on Ralph'a hair. Ralph hums in apology, and then bobs his head up and down slowly.

 

Although Jack has barely gotten hard, Ralph pulls back, an apologetic look on his face.

'My jaw's getting sore.' Jack nods, taking his face in his hands.

'Don't do anything you don't want to. This is for you.' Ralph furrows his brows.

'Its for you too, Jack, I won't do anything if you don't want me to.' Jack sits up, and kisses Ralph's forehead.

'I want this, baby. It's just... It's your first time with a guy, with me, and I want it to be good.' Ralph grins up at him, casually taking his cock in his hand.

'Do you mean that you want this to happen again?'

'Don't you?' Ralph bites his lip in a way that Jack can't look away from, and then nods, leaning down and planting another sweet kiss to the head of his cock.

'Take your clothes off, Ralph.' Ralph stops, raises a brow, but then sits back. He rolls the hem of his jumper up enough to show his waist, smiling at Jack softly as he tugs his arms from the sleeves slowly. Jack, not wanting to wait, leans forward to help him out of it. Although he's as Jack expected him to look, he still pulls back and examines his exposed torso.

'Fuck, Ralph, you're perfect,' He presses a wet kiss to Ralph's pulse, then sets his teeth over it gently, 'it's aggravating.' Ralph hums, tilting his head to bare his throat.

'What are you gonna do about it?'

'Revel in it?'

'Sounds good to me.' Ralph's fingers are painfully tight in his hair, but the pain keeps him focused enough to not bite down on his pulse too hard. He pulls away, and pulls his belt free.

'You're overdressed, I think.'

'I think so, too.'

'Show me.' Ralph rises to his knees, and unzips his zipper. He then climbs off the bed, and begins to pull his jeans off, inch by inch. Jack reaches to help him, and he slaps his hand away.

'No touching. I'm showing you.' Inch by painful inch, his trousers are low enough that he can kick out of them.  
He makes quicker work of his briefs, and stands before Jack, arms slightly too stiff at his sides. Jack pulls him closer, kissing along his hipbones.

'You, Ralph Gornick, are the prettiest little thing I've ever laid eyes on.' Ralph flushes, fingers pushing through his curls. Jack pulls away, and Ralph climbs back on top of him.

'Fuck me, Jack.' Ralph is flushed pink when he says it, and Jack grins, kissing him gently.

'There isn't any lube.'

'That's okay, I'll manage.' Jack frowns, and spits on his hand, reaching back to slide two of his fingers into him. Ralph gasps, clenching his teeth and gripping Jack's arm.

'No you won't. You can barely manage two fingers.' Ralph whimpers, looking desperate.

'I want to... I want you, Jack. I need you.'

'We can still fuck without that. Or you can fuck me,' Ralph wrinkles his nose, and Jack smiles, kissing his shoulder, 'Alright then. I can make you come, then you can make me come, and we'll both be happy,' Ralph bites his lip, 'There'll be other times. Times when you'll be ready, that we'll have what we need. It isn't the end of the world.' Jack kisses him gently.

'Okay... But- can I make you come first?' Jack leans back, and Ralph slides down his legs.

'You don't have to suck me off, if you don't like it.'

'I like it. I just have to get better at it. Ralph settles between his legs, taking his cock in his hand, pressing soft kisses down the length of it, then his eyes meet Jack's as he licks a long stripe up the thick vein on the underside of his cock. Jack curses under his breath, because, _fuck_ , this sight is too good, this feeling is too good. Ralph is too good. The blond smiles, too innocent for someone who is about to do what he was, then takes his length into his mouth slowly, carefully. Jack groans, trying not to move.

Ralph only gags twice, and pulls back once, a long string of saliva dangling from his mouth. Jack, breathless, wipes it away, and Ralph smiles that sweet smile again, sucking at the head.

'Will you tell me when you get close?' Ralph pulls back to speak, stroking his length.

'Of course, sweetness.' Ralph smiles once more, and returns to his chosen task. Without any warning, his hollows his cheeks around him, and hums. Jack gasps, and grips his hair, holding him down. This brings him significantly closer to the edge, and it's all he can do to not fuck his mouth.  
A string of curses, moans, and the blond's name falls from his mouth, and Ralph glances up at him in question. Jack nods quickly, and he pulls away, taking his spit-covered cock in his hand.

The sight of his pretty hand wrapped around his shaft proves too much, and he moans his name when he comes, spilling into his hand and down his arm. Ralph pumps his hand a few more times, ignoring the sticky mess, then sits back. He meets Jack's eyes, smiles again, then licks up the come. If Jack was able to come again, he would've.

Ralph kisses him, and Jack doesn't mind that all he can taste is himself, thick on Ralph's tongue. He pulls away, taking the blond's face in his hands.

'Let me do something for you. I wanna make you feel good, baby.' Ralph bites his lip, and nods.

'Okay.'

 

Jack has slid off the bed for a better angle, and rests on his knees at Ralph's feet. The shorter boy smiles, pushing his fingers through the mess of curls with one hand, his other wrapped around his cock. Jack wishes he could do this for him, suck him off until he was a moaning mess, but Ralph has ordered that he keep his hands by his side and his eyes on him.

'You look quite good on your knees, Jack,' He leans in close, and takes Jack's bottom lip in between his teeth, tugging gently before continuing, 'How good would you look on your knees, with my come all over that pretty face of yours?' It sounds like something Jack would like to say to him, but he doesn't mind hearing it in Ralph's sweet voice.

'How 'bout you find out?' Ralph sits back, and does just that.

He strokes himself in quick, desperate movements, much quicker and jerkier than Jack would've done for him. Jack would've gone slow, made him mad with his deliberate movements, then move quick like he did now only when he was already at his climax. 

With his quick movements, it doesn't take Ralph long, and he whimpers Jack's name when he comes, long strings that Jack hopes don't go into his eyes. Thankfully, they don't, and he can appreciate the sight of Ralph, quivering from the pleasure. He whimpers again when he catches sight of him, and reaches for a tissue from the box on the bedside table.

'You look pretty damn good like that, baby.' Jack hums, letting him wipe the mess from his face.

'You look pretty damn good when you're coming, so.' Ralph smiles tiredly, and sits back against the pillows, spent. Jack climbs up next to him, just as tired.

Without thinking, he pulls the covers over both of them, and pulls Ralph against his chest, then falls asleep.


	13. XIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> even though i knew what i wanted from this chapter ever since i planned this fic out and knew it would be the one after they do the do for the first time, i still?? struggled a lot to get the right mood across, and its still not quite right???  
> idk it's??? idk man,  
> next chapter will be better tho!!!

Ralph wakes up long before the sun comes up, and long before Jack wakes up.

Although he doesn't have a hangover, and the memories of the night before play on repeat in his mind with only some blurriness, there is a certain grogginess to him, a heaviness to his limbs, that Ralph doesn't like.

It's still mostly dark, and he is half tempted to wake him, the memory of the night before fresh on his mind. Instead, he rolls over and presses to Jack, wrapping his arms around his waist. Although the redhead is snoring softly, Ralph is pleased when his arm drapes across his back and his nose pushes into his hair. Jack sighs in his sleep, rolling onto his back and bringing Ralph with him.

Eager to find the warm sleep that came with Jack's embrace, Ralph presses his cheek to his chest and traces his fingers across his skin, closing his eyes.   
Although he dozes, it isn't the same as the deep sleep of the night before, and Ralph tries to figure out what woke him. Whatever it was, he was not pleased.

 

Hours slowly slide by, and the sun is well up when Jack finally stirs. His arm tightens across his shoulders and he shifts, yawning. Ralph looks up to find Jack blinking blearily down at him.

'You're still here?'

'I don't do morning after notes.' Ralph doesn't think about any possible awkwardness when he kisses his chest. Jack nods slowly, not quite meeting his eyes.

'Okay. What... what happens now? This, us, I mean.'

'What do you want to happen?' Ralph hopes desperately that this wasn't an isolated happening. Jack mulls over the possibilities - there were quite a few. Preferably, Ralph would like for it to be more than holding hands in the dark, kissing whilst drunk, and fucking whilst tipsy, but he would settle for that if it was what Jack wanted.

'I... Don't know. Let's just, get dressed and get outta here before anyone finds us,' Ralph's stomach sinks when he notices the hesitation, 'We'll... We'll pretend like we didn't fuck in your friends' guest bedroom, and if it comes to it... We'll forget that we fucked at all.' Ralph doesn't want to. He didn't want to put this behind him, forget about this night. He wanted to do it again, perfectly sober so there wouldn't be any fuzziness to the memories or ambiguous feelings. But he smiles up at Jack before sitting up and stretching before climbing over him.

'Sounds like a plan.' He says quietly, gathering his clothes and sitting at the foot of the bed. Jack seems struck by something, and Ralph hopes that he'll take it back, kiss him, hold him, touch him. Ralph pauses while pulling his jeans back on, looking back at Jack, hopefully. Instead, Jack smiles strangely and slides out from the sheets. He looks like he's going to step to Ralph, and his heart skips a beat. Instead, he carefully skirts around him and picks up his discarded jeans. Ralph sighs, and pulls his shirt over his head.

'Don't come out right after me.' He mumbles, and slips out into the hall without another word.

 

* * *

 

 

Jack wakes up with arms wrapped tight around his waist. When he opens his eyes, he tightens his arm around the shoulders it is slung across in reaction to seeing who it is.

The memory of the night comes back belatedly, and he splutters for something to say when tired eyes meet his.

'You're still here.' It sounds more like a question, but Jack means to say it as a statement. That was good, right? Ralph wouldn't be regretting it if he waited for Jack to wake up before getting up. Right?

'I don't do morning after notes.' His lips are warm on his chest, and Jack tries not to melt under him. He knows he won't be able to focus on actually doing anything if he looked Ralph in the eye, so he doesn't.

'What... what happens now? This, us, I mean.' Something flutters in his chest as he waits eagerly for Ralph's answer.

'What do you want to happen?' Jack knows that the answer he wants to say won't be the one that Ralph wants to hear, knows that he wants this to be a one time thing.

'I... Don't know. Let's just, get dressed and get outta here before anyone finds us. We'll... We'll pretend that we didn't just fuck,' Jack says the word carefully, as if he's throwing a grenade while not knowing if it's clipped or not, 'In your friends' guest bedroom, and if it comes to it... We'll forget that we fucked at all.' Again with the careful way of saying the curse word. Ralph gets up too quickly, and Jack knows that he's relieved. He tries not to stare at his naked form when he bends to pick up the clothes that had been dropped around the base of the bed.

'Sounds like a plan.' Ralph sits down at the foot of the bed, as far as he can get from Jack. Jack sits up, watches him get dressed, tries to feel cold and detached when the blond looks over his shoulder at him, watching him through his lashes. Jack wants to grip him tight and kiss those pretty pink lips until they're swollen and dark. He swallows and slips out of the bed, carefully skirting around Ralph as he picks up his clothes.   
The blond finishes getting dressed, and stops before ducking out of the door.

'Don't come out right after me.' Jack nods mutely, wants to, wants to wrap his arm across the other boy's shoulders and hold him against his side, kiss his hair as they go downstairs together.

Instead, he just buckles his belt in grim silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i usually would've done a split pov by picking up where i left off or doin a bit before, but this was a chapter that i wanted both povs all the way through bc its a bunch of misunderstandings and people not telling the other their feelings and thoughts and communicating and i like doing that


	14. XIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a p dialogue heavy chapter but 
> 
> also i didn't realize that another sex scene would be so soon after the first one  
> but you know  
> i had it planned since the beginning of feburary and didn't wanna do another filler  
> so  
> wow  
> phone sex

It's been three weeks since _that_ night. The past 23 days had passed with no incident, and were terribly boring for Ralph. He had sunk into a routine ; wake up, get ready, go to school, go home, eat, sleep. Repeat. At school, there was the usual routine that was in place since the beginning of the year. But there was one addition - Jack.

He had switched from sitting with his friends up at the front of the class to sitting at the back, pretending to listen to Clauss talk about the use of camera angles in films while Jack writes potentially suggestive things down in the margins of his notebook as he smiles potentially suggestive smiles at him.  
They had decided to accept that night, but chosen not take further action, something that frustrated Ralph to no end. He would find himself staring at Jack instead of listening to the lesson, trying to count his myriad of freckles when he was supposed to be taking notes.

 

Now, he has a tall glass of his father's expensive whisky in front of him, and he bites at his thumbnail, staring his phone, silent and cold. He's already tipsy, and the only thing running through his brain was Jack. He heaves a heavy sigh, then, without a second thought, calls Jack.  
He answers on the third ring.

'Ralph?' His voice is soft, but there is the sounds of company in the background of the call - laughter, glasses clinking, a television playing a football match.

'Jack. Is this... Is this a bad time?' He hears a door opening, then closing, the sounds now muted.

'No. Are you okay?'

'It's stupid. Don't worry about it.'

'Ralph. Now I'm gonna worry.'

'Um. Oh. Okay. Well, I just wanted to, I dunno, talk to you, I guess.' Jack laughs softly, and a bed creaks under him.

'Talk about what?' Ralph swallows, wets his suddenly dry lips.

'I've been thinking about you. A lot.'

'Ralph,' Jack's voice is even quieter than before, and Ralph takes a shaky breath.

'I want us to... You know... Not be... _nothing_ , you know?' Ralph feels awkward, doesn't know how to say what he wants to.

'Ralph,'

'We don't have to, if you don't want to, obviously. But. I kinda want to hold your hand and kiss you sometimes, you know?'

'Ralph.' He says it louder, so Ralph quiets, taking a drink of the whisky, 'Are you... Are you home alone? I-I could sneak out, if you wanted me to.'

'My dad'll be home soon.' Ralph takes another drink, longer this time, suddenly jittery.

'Okay.' A silence settles down, and Ralph chews at the ball of his thumb. Suddenly, he speaks.

'Why?'

'I... I wanna see you. Talk about this in person. You aren't... You aren't drunk, are you? Do you mean this?' Ralph doesn't want to lie, but he knows that Jack will pull away if he doesn't - and he was _so close_ to hearing what he wanted to hear.

'I mean, I had one drink, earlier at Simon's.' It wasn't like Ralph was lying - he was just withholding some facts.

'That's it?'

'That's it.' He hears Jack take a shaky breath.

'Okay. Uh, fuck, okay. So, uh, since it's obvious that you don't want to... Not do anything with me, what do you want to do? About that night, I mean.'

'I just... wanna make something out of it, I guess.'

'What... what did you have in mind?' Ralph mouth is suddenly too dry, so he finishes his drink.

'I don't know... I just, I want it to go further than it has, y'know?'

'We've had sex. It doesn't get much further than that.'

'I just -' Ralph sighs, then starts again, 'I want something between us. Something real. Something with... substance. If we have sex again, I don't want to just be another fuck for you.' He falls back on his bed. Jack is quiet for a long time.  
'You know? I want to kiss you, touch you. I want you to hold me. I don't want to be nothing but someone you can just lead on until we graduate.'

'I didn't think you were just a fuck.' Jack is quiet again, voice soft, tone softer, 'You... You mean a lot to me, Ralph. More... more than I've told you.' Ralph can't quite breathe right, his heart in his throat as he processes this information in silence, Jack's breathing loud on the other end.

'Uh... Are you... Can you... Are you alone?'

'I can lock my door. Why?'

'Um. Okay.'

'Alright. Hold on, alright?' There's a new kind of silence, Jack's breathing missing from the other end. Ralph takes this time to lock his own door and close his blinds, tight, then sit back on his bed, smoothing his hair back.  
'Okay. I'm back. Why... Why do you want me alone?'

'You don't need to be here for us to have sex.'

'Ralph, we don't need to-'

'I want to.' There is a moment of quiet, then Jack hums, sighs, and takes a shaky breath.

'Okay. Alright. What do you... What do you want me to do, baby?' It's Ralph's turn to take a shaky breath, his fists balling in his shirt. He should've thought about this more, mulled over what he would say, how he would do it.

'Um. Well. I'll just tell you right now that I'm not the greatest dirty talker.' Jack laughs, gently, and Ralph shifts so his back is pressed against the headboard of his bed.

'Do you want me to start?' Ralph nods vigorously, forgetting that Jack couldn't see him.

'Shit. Yeah. I'd - I'd appreciate that.'

'Okay. Uhm. Well, start by... taking off your pants?' Ralph grins at the discovery that Jack was just as bad at this as he was.

'Jack. Do you want to FaceTime instead?' There is an audible sigh of relief.

'Fuck yes.'

 

A few minutes later, Ralph lies on his pillows, earbuds tucked into his ears. He has stripped himself of his shirt.  
Jack's face fills his phone screen, uncertainty in his eyes.

'Okay. Uh. How do we do this?'

'Maybe we... Switch the cameras? Watch each other... You know.' Ralph makes a pumping gesture with his hand.

'Ah. Okay. Yeah. Alright, that sounds like a... Plan.' Ralph smiles at the redhead before switching the camera around. Jack does the same, and Ralph is greeted with a nice view of his stomach and legs. There is a noticeable tent in his jeans.

'Little excited, aren't you?'

'Just a little bit.' Ralph, at a lack of a better idea, palms at himself through his jeans. Jack hums in appreciation.

'Take it out, baby. Show me.' Ralph flushes, and awkwardly pushes his trousers down with one hand, then pulls his half-hardened cock from his briefs.  
'Fuck, Ralph. Your cock is even prettier than your face.'

'Why are you surprised at how my dick looks? You've seen it before.'

'I was half drunk, sweetness. Touch yourself a little bit.' Ralph strokes himself gracelessly, staring at the screen of Jack's crotch. He is gently palming his own cock. Ralph wets his lips, swallows.

'It's your turn to take it out, babe.'

'Hold on.' He must've set his phone on his chest, as Ralph is given a nice view of his ceiling. A few moments later, Ralph finds Jack to be completely naked from the waist down, and completely hard.

'I'm gonna show you what I would do to you, if this was your cock.' Ralph whimpers in reply, a surge of heat going through his length at those words.

'Show me, babe. Tell me.'

'I'd go slow. So slow you'd nearly go crazy.' Ralph forces himself to copy Jack's movements - itchingly slow, careful movements.

'And?' Ralph whimpers.

'I'd kiss you, while I was doing this. Those pretty pink lips - they were just made to be kissed until they bleed.' Ralph groans, trying to keep himself quiet.

'Fuck, Jack.' Jack runs his thumb over the head of his length a few times, then pauses to ghost his fingers down the thick vein on the underside.

'Tell me, Ralph. What makes you go mad?' Ralph knows it's a theoretical question - he just stifles a moan, watching Jack trace his length carefully, 'would this drive you bonkers? I barely feel my fingers, but they're there. Just enough pressure to really get you going, sweetness.' Ralph wondered how he was staying so calm. He has stopped mimicking Jack, simply chasing his orgasm, touching himself carelessly, eyes fixed on the image in front of him.

'Or maybe something harder would get you to where I want you. Tease you 'till you're begging me, then going so rough on you...' Ralph lets a full on moan at the thought, 'Would you like that, baby?'

'Yes,' Ralph manages to answer, 'Yes, babe, I would love that.' Jack laughs, shifts his hips.

'What do you want from me?'

'Just wanna see you come. I wanna see you feeling good.' Jack hums, wrapping his hand around his shaft and stroking quickly.

'I suppose I can give you that - but only if you come first.' That wouldn't be a problem - Ralph had been nearing climax for the past few minutes.

'Can I come now?'

'Flip the camera. I wanna see your face while you come.' Ralph does so, but Jack keeps his own on his cock, hand moving in uneven, quick jerks. Ralph fixes his eyes on this sight, whimpering as he builds it up.

'C'mon baby, come for me.' Finally, Ralph does as he's told, arching off the bed and crying out Jack's name as he spills himself onto his hand.

'Flip the camera again.' Judging by Jack's strained tone, Ralph guesses he is near his own release. Sure enough, the image of his come-covered hand, still wrapped around his softening, sensitive cock is enough to bring him over the edge. Jack moans his name as he comes, one thick rope that drops onto his stomach. He flips the camera, looking tired. Ralph does the same.

'You're pretty. I don't deserve you.' Ralph smiles at the slightly blurry screen of Jack's face.

'Yes you do. I ain't that special.'

'When can I see you next? Outside of school.'

'Maybe tommorow?' Jack smiles as if nothing has just happened, and then bites his lip.

'Alright, pretty boy. If we were talking in person, I would kiss you so hard right now. Bye.'

'Night.' The call cuts out, and Ralph cleans himself up and goes to bed.


	15. XV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the v last filler chapter, trust me.  
> also like???? almost done this wtf!!!
> 
> piggy is whiny (as always)  
> and ralph nd simon's lines on their friendship are v blurry nd they are lowkey v intimate wit one another

The next morning, Ralph is left tired and strangely drained. He can't think of any reason why having sex over the phone with... Whatever Jack was to him... would make him so tired.

He stretches, then pulls the same shirt that he had worn yesterday over his head. His phone buzzes, and he practically dives for it, expecting it to be Jack. Instead, it's Simon.

> _You up?_  
>  _Charlie and I are gonna go out for breakfast_

Ralph sighs, fixes his sleep-tousled hair.

> _Sure._  
>  _Where?_
> 
> _We'll pick you up  
>  Don't worry_

Soon, Charles pulls up Ralph's driveway. Ralph stretches, stands, then plops into the backseat.

'Where are we going? I'm on a strict diet, 'cause of football.'

'There's this new vegetarian restaurant near our houses.' Simon answers, and Ralph nods, stifling a yawn.

 

Two streets over, they wait to be seated at an incredibly clean and expensive-looking restaurant, near full already. Ralph rests his head on Simon's shoulder, a yawn forcing its way from his mouth.

'Didn't sleep well?'

'Quite well, actually. I dunno why I'm so tired.'

'I heard about what happened last night.' Ralph looks up at him in confusion. Simon smiles down at him, gently teasing.

'What? How?'

'Jack tells Roger everything.' Ralph's face is in flames - he makes a note to yell at Jack later. He's about to prod more about what he might've heard, when an impeccably dressed man comes around the corner to take them to their table.

 

Ralph orders a coffee and eggs - something he's surprised is at a vegetarian restaurant. When he comments on it, Simon looks at him, exasperated.

'How many times do I have to explain the difference between a vegetarian and a vegan. We just don't eat _meat_ \- vegans don't eat any animal products.' Ralph raises his hand in a gesture of apology, raising his brows at Charles. The idle conversation that they pick up cuts off as the waiter comes by with their drinks. Ralph tears open a packet of sugar as Charles takes a breath.

'You said you wouldn't date Merridew.' Simon freezes, his straw halfway to his lips, a look of shock as he looks between his two friends. Ralph's shoulders stiffen, but then he resumes pouring the sugar into his coffee as he swallows thickly.

'I'm not dating Jack.'

'You're shagging him. What's the difference?' Ralph coughs, stirs the sugar into his coffee as Simon takes a sip of his smoothie.

'I actually don't count drunk sex as actually doing it. So, _no_ , Charlie, we haven't.'

'Yet,' Simon mutters, and Ralph can tell he's suppressing a grin. Charles purses his lips.

'Yeah, but you told me that you had a crush on him. And Simon told me that you two shagged when he was at that party a few weeks ago. Even if it doesn't count, you still like him. You _want_ something to happen.'

'What's so bad about that?'

'He's an asshole, Ralph!' Ralph bites back a scathing comment, knowing how sensitive Charles was, and takes a long drink of his coffee, not caring that it scalds his tongue.

'Is this why you two invited me out? So you could ambush me?'

'No, Ralph. I just... It isn't healthy, to act on your feelings when you're under any influence.' Simon lays a comforting hand on Ralph's.

'I was barely tipsy last night.'

'Last night? What did you do last night?' Charles interjects, his eyes almost as round as his spectacles.

'Nothing.'

'He had phone sex with Jack.' Ralph and Charles both flush deep red, and Simon continues, turning to Ralph as their food comes. 'If you're really interested in him, just... Call him over, _stay sober_ , and I dunno, try something.' Ralph ignores him, thanks the waiter, and stares down at his food.

'I think he should just find some nice girl to distract him from Merridew, and get over him.' Charles mutters, but Ralph tunes his bickering friends out, letting them debate over his personal life as he calmly eats his eggs.  
It isn't until he's half done that they finally turn their attention to Ralph.

'Am I right, Ralph?' It's Charles, looking expectantly at him. Tears brim his eyes.

'What?'

'Charlie is convinced that people don't change.' Simon sounds bored now, and turns his attention to his own food.

'Change what?'

'Don't you remember in seventh grade? _He_ started that Piggy nickname.'

'Two things, Charlie. One, we were _twelve_ , and two, it was actually me started it.'

'Yeah, but you apologized.' Ralph resists the urge to roll his eyes. Instead, he reaches across the table and gives the boy a pat on the hand that means to be reassuring.

'Listen, Charlie. If it happens, it happens. But... But I won't talk about it with you.' Ralph finishes his food, then wipes his mouth. Charles still hasn't touched anything that he ordered. No one comments on this.

Ralph and Simon walk home together.


	16. XVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lil bit after ch. 15, but the same day ^^

It takes Ralph three hours to work up the courage to call Jack, act upon Simon's earlier advice. Simon sits beside him on his bed, the room submerged in a comfortable silence as Ralph bites his nails until it hurts, and Simon calmly goes through his phone.

'Put it on speaker.' He murmurs when Ralph finally sighs in resignation, pulls his phone, and dials Jack's number. He presses his finger to his lips when the phone starts ringing. Jack picks up promptly, sounding tired.

'Ralph?'

'Hey Jack,' He sits up against the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest. He can feel Simon's eyes on him.

'What's,' A pause, and Jack yawns, 'up?'

'Uhm,' Ralph glances to Simon for help - this was his stupid idea. The darker boy makes a signal to continue, and Ralph swallows, 'I was wondering if you were free tonight?' Jack grunts, and there's a creaking of a bed.

'I think so. Why?'

'Well, uh, a bunch of new movies have been added to Netflix, and a few of them look interesting. Would you be... Do you wanna come over?' Simon gives a reassuring smile and a comforting nod as he reaches out to touch Ralph's calf. Jack is silent for a moment.

'Hello?'

'Uh, fuck, sure. Yeah, I'll come over. What about your dad?'

'He's leaving on a business trip after tea.'

'Okay. Yeah. It's... It's a date.' Ralph feels his face engulf flames, and he almost chokes on his words. Simon bites down harsh on his lip, looking as though he's about to laugh loudly.

'Um, yup. Yes. Okay. Oh! Come over around seven?' Jack laughs softly.

'Sure, Ralph. See you then.' The line goes dead, and Ralph bites his lip, putting away the phone. Simon bounces in place, then pokes at Ralph's knees.

'It's a date, Ralph.' Ralph allows himself to smile in victory. Simon clasps his knees, then stands up and bounds to his closet.

'What will you wear?'

'Does it matter?' Simon looks over his shoulder, incredulous.

'Of course it does. He said it himself. It's a _date,_ ' Ralph shifts forward, still blushing furiously. Simon takes down a slouchy jumper, then digs deeper, 'I think you should go for the 'Oh me? I didn't dress up for this, I'm always this put together' look.' It looks the exact same to what Ralph wore everyday, save for the collared jumper of the school uniform, and neat pants. Instead, Simon brings him a slouchy jumper and jeans that are a bit too tight. He turns his back while Ralph changes, then bounces in place again. He looks like a proud mother as he pushes Ralph up to his reflection.

'Perfectly shagable,' Ralph blushes deeper while Simon checks the time, 'I ought to go. Tell me how it goes after. Or, y'know, I'll just hear about it through the grapevine.' With that, his friend slips out the door, and Ralph is left alone to his thoughts.

 

At precisely 7:00, there's a quiet knock at the door. Ralph smooths the front of his jumper, then opens the door. Jack shifts on his feet, smiling at him as he produces a bottle.

'I brought wine. If that's... Good, with you.' Ralph had the plans to stay sober, like Simon had suggested, but if Jack was to drink, then he supposed he would too. He steps aside, and Jack touches the small of his back as he passes. Ralph locks the door, then turns to Jack.

'Um. You can... wait in there,' He points to the entryway of the sitting room, 'I'll get glasses, and something to open the bottle.'  
Ralph grabs the first glasses he finds, then digs the corkscrew from the drawer.

When he returns, Jack stands from his seat on the couch, rubbing his palms over his thighs. Ralph carefully sets the glasses on the coffee table, and hands the corkscrew to Jack. They grasp hands for a desperate moment, then Jack sits again, opening the bottle quickly. Ralph turns off the lights, then sits next to him, flicking the television on as Jack pours them each a glass.

'These aren't wine glasses.' He hums, and Ralph shrugs a shoulder.

'If you want a wine glass, I could get you one.'

'No.' Jack says it too quickly, and Ralph smiles to himself.

'What do you want to watch?' He can see Jack looking at him strangely.

'You choose.' Ralph settles on the first movie he finds that has a rating above three stars. Jack shifts so he is leaning his back against the arm of the sofa. He tilts his head, and Ralph's heart beats hard as he settles down against him, drinking the wine quickly, sighing in content when Jack's fingers slide through his hair distractedly.

 

Before the movie is half through, they've finished half the bottle of wine, and they aren't paying attention to it anymore.  
Jack has shifted again, sitting up with his knees drawn to his chest, spread wide. Ralph is splayed between his legs, hands on his face. He tastes of wine when Ralph kisses him, but he knows that he is no better. Everything around them is forgotten, and Ralph thinks of nothing but the feel of Jack's fingers in his hair and his lips on his, rough and warm. Jack's hands fist in his hair, pull him flush to his front. Ralph's thigh ends up pressed to his crotch, and he can feel his growing hardness. He gives an experimental shift of his leg, and Jack groans into the kiss.

'Ralph,' Jack says into his lips, and then pulls away to kiss his cheekbones, 'Should we... Should we move, somewhere else?' Ralph shakes his head.

'No. Let's stay down here.' Jack groans quietly, then nods, pulling back to look at him in the darkness of the room.

'Okay.' He tugs at his shirt, and Ralph hesitates when his stomach is exposed, and Jack's calloused fingers are sliding over his skin. He reaches over the taller boy's head, and flicks on a lamp behind them. Jack blinks up at him in the sudden light, then smiles fondly.

'You're so fuckin' pretty.' Ralph wants to melt against him, but he can't get his doubts from his mind.

'We're drunk.'

'So? Doesn't change anything.' Jack braces his hand against Ralph's jaw, his other hand working between them to palm at the front of his jeans.

'Jack.'

'Hm?'

'What are we?' Jack stills, then pulls back, suddenly very serious. He brushes his hair from his face, then runs his finger across his bottom lip, which Ralph is sure is swollen by now.

'What do you want us to be?'

'We've been through this, Jack.' He's frustrated that he has to keep explaining what he wants, but it seemed as though Jack couldn't get it through his thick skull. Jack leans forward, kisses his temple.

'I know. But are you 100% sure? I don't want you to regret anything.'

'Yes, Jack. I'm sure.' Jack looks down at him, then grins.

'Can we go up now?' He asks, already turning off the television and grabbing the wine. Ralph looks at the bottle, bites his lip, and sits back.

'Okay. But... No sex, okay? Not until we're sober. I don't... I'm done with drunk kisses and holding hands in the dark.' Jack looks disappointed, but he strokes Ralph's cheek, and nods.

'Okay, baby. No sex until we're sober.' Ralph, satisfied, stands up and brushes himself off. He waits by the stairs as Jack puts away the wine and puts the glasses in the dishwasher.  
A few moments later, Jack staggers as he rounds the corner, then takes Ralph's hands. They help each other up the stairs, and Ralph kisses him gently as he pushes into his room.

Jack sits on the bed as Ralph takes off his trousers.

'Do you want to take those off, too?' Ralph motions to Jack's own jeans, and he smiles up at him strangely.

'I thought we weren't-'

'You're right. But sleeping in jeans isn't the most comfortable, isn't it?' Jack thinks about this, then removes his trousers. Ralph slides under the covers.

'Turn off the lights.' He hums, turning onto his side. The lights flick off, then the mattress dips as Jack climbs in next to him. A nose slides along his jaw, and arms wrap tight around his waist.

'Goodnight, baby.'

'Night.' Ralph places his hand on the other boy's arm, pushing against him. Jack is still half hard, and Ralph tries not to move too much against him. Jack's lips touch his jaw to a sweet kiss.

'See you in the morning.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one chapity left are y'all excited


	17. XVII

Early in the morning, Jack wakes up with his nose pressed into the crook of Ralph's neck. After a moment of confusing, he grunts, rubbing his nose along Ralph's jaw. He tightens his arms around the blond's waist, then kisses his cheek.

'You awake?' Ralph lets out a long, sharp exhale through his nose, shifting against him.

'I am now.'

'You still drunk?' Ralph looks over his shoulder, reaching back to sling an arm across his neck, twirling the baby fingers at the base of his neck around his finger.

'Nah. Just a little hungover. You?'

'Same,' Jack kisses the corner of his lips, 'You in the mood to...?' Ralph hums, opening an eye to look up at him. He smiles, mischievously. Jack thinks he's gonna roll away from him, so he tightens his arms around his waist, holding him against his front. But he doesn't move, just rolls his hips back slightly against him as he turns his head to kiss him firmly.

'Maybe.' Jack bites back a moan when Ralph rolls his hips back against him again. He wants to curse, but he doesn't want Ralph to know the extent of what he does to him, at least not yet.

'Can I do something to tip the scales in my favor?'

'What did you have in mind?' Jack gently pushes him away. Ralph shifts, then rolls onto his back to look up at Jack. Jack pushes his jumper up to his waist, then sits on his thighs, staring down at his exposed stomach, tracing his finger tips along the contours of his torso.

'You'll see. Sit up for me.' Ralph does what he's told, lifting himself up. Jack pulls his jumper off and drops it down by the bed. He studies the other boy, biting the inside of his cheek. Ralph shifts, reaching up to tug at his shirt.

'What are you staring at?' Jack leans down, kisses the blush that has bloomed on his cheeks, 'It's not like you haven't seen me before.'

'I haven't, baby. Not really. Last time you were naked in front of me, we were tipsy, and the only light was from a shitty lamp. I intend to memorize this.' Ralph flushes deeper, and Jack grins, kissing the blush again.

'T-take a picture then. It'll last longer.' Ralph's face is almost cherry red. Jack grins at the thought, touching his waist.

'Maybe another time, baby.' He mouths along his collarbone, then down his sternum. Ralph is almost squirming under his hands, and Jack tightens his fingers around his waist.

'Alright,' There's a faint note of disappointment in Ralph's voice, something Jack makes a note of. Jack grins against his sternum, and grinds down against Ralph's muscled thigh.

'But I would _love_ to. You're so perfect, baby. So pretty.' Ralph rolls his hips up against Jack's stomach, and the tiniest of moans falls from his mouth. Jack grins in victory, and reaches up, cups his growing length. Ralph whimpers, bracing his jaw and pulling his face up to kiss him.

'Jack, _please_.'

'Please what?'

'I want you to... fuck me. Please, love.' Jack warms at the pet name, holding him close. He nibbles at his cheekbone, making Ralph moan.

'How hard, baby?'

'Uh, gentle. At the start. I'll let you... know.'

'Whatever you want, sweetness.'

 

They stand, and there's a scramble to get both of them naked. Ralph glances down at the space between their bodies, and Jack kisses the top of his head.

'You look good like this.'

'Like what? Naked?' Ralph grins, hums, and steps back to sit down on the bed.

'Yup. How do you want me, baby?' Jack looks down at him, biting his lip. He runs his fingers through his hair.

'I just wanna see that pretty face while you come for me. That's all that matters.' Ralph stands, removes the blankets from the bed, and lets Jack lie down. 

Ralph begins to climb on top of Jack when he suddenly remembers what had prevented them from doing this last time. He touches his chest, signaling for him to stop. Ralph immediately freezes, looking down at him in confusion.

'Do you have any lube?' Immediately, Ralph pales.

'No, but I don't care. I want you, baby.'

'I'll hurt you without it. Maybe even with it.' Jack scans the room, eyes landing on the dresser.

'Get that lotion. It'll work.' Ralph stands again, taking the beige bottle from his dresser and setting it on the bedside table. Jack squirts a good amount in his hand and slathers it over his length until it's slick.

Finally, Ralph climbs on top of him, fingers tight over his shoulders.

'Have you ever done this?' Ralph shakes his head.

'I've only shagged girls.' Jack nods slowly, gripping his hips.

'Alright. Do you want me to use my fingers first?'

'No. Fuck, Jack, stop being so nice. Just fuck me already.' Jack wants to, wants to push up into him and take him up to the hilt, fill him up. But he forces himself to go slow, for Ralph. There was plenty of time to act on his fantasies, when Ralph is more used to the stretch.

'Okay. Okay, baby, just tell me to stop if it's too much.' Ralph is visibly frustrated, trying to move down onto him. Jack holds him still, the head of his cock so close to his entrance. He sits up, holds him close, and murmurs praise as he slowly lets him down.

His head is barely in when Ralph whimpers, muscles tightening around him.

'Do I stop?' He whispers, and Ralph shakes his head, holding him tight.

'No. Don't stop.'

'Just relax, baby. It won't feel as good if you're tense like this.' Jack kisses his shoulder and murmurs more soft praise, sliding in the rest of the way. He holds still, lets Ralph squirm in his lap, get used to it.

'You good?' Ralph nods, then slowly starts moving his hips up and down. Jack groans despite himself, and Ralph's cheeks go pink. He leans in close to whisper in his ear.

'Make that noise again. Please.' Ralph moves up then down again, a bit too quickly, and he whimpers, the sound a bit too pained for Jack's liking. He grasps the blond's hips, holds him still.

'Pace yourself. Don't go out of your way to please me, baby. This is about you, too.' Ralph looks back at him, eyes round. It looks as if he's going to protest, so Jack lets go of his hips and kisses him as he gently thrusts up into him.

Ralph rises onto his knees next, rocking back onto Jack's cock while looking down into his eyes, stroking his face. Jack is as still as a statue, except for an involuntary jump of his hips once in a while, meeting his gaze evenly.

'You're beautiful, Ralph. Amazingly gorgeous,' Ralph smiles down, soft and fond, fingers brushing underneath his jaw, 'I might be in love with you, if I'm being honest.' He doesn't realize he's said it; Ralph doesn't falter, just bends, kisses his temple, and mumbles something into his skin that Jack can't make out. He pushes up into him, deeper this time, and Ralph makes the prettiest sound he's ever heard, head falling to rest on the dip of Jack's shoulder.

'You're so fucking perfect. So tight, too. You drive me mad, baby. You're gonna be the fucking end of me.' Ralph whimpers, rocking back against him as he hits deeper spots.

'You're gonna make me come. Do you want that? Want me to come in your tight little hole?' Ralph moans, loud, and nods from his resting point on his shoulder.

'Yes, yes, please! Please, Jack, I want it so _bad_.' This is all Jack needs. He grips Ralph's hips, probably too tight, and pauses long enough to look down at Ralph.

'Look at me. Watch me come for you.' Ralph does as he's told, eyelids lowered. Jack adjusts himself, then snaps up into Ralph, an experiment thrust. The blond gasps, scratching at his back. Again, he does the same, then does it several time, until Ralph is shouting his name, spilling himself onto Jack's stomach. This sight brings Jack over the edge, and he pushes up to the hilt, moaning. Just as he comes, Ralph surges forward, kissing him roughly. He thrusts a few more times to milk himself, then pulls out. Ralph falls forward onto his chest, dazed and breathing heavily.

'Fuck,' Is all he can manage, and Jack echoes the curse, slinging an arm across Ralph's shoulders.

 

Minutes slid by in comfortable silence, in which Jack slides in and out of a light doze, regardless of the sticky mess on his stomach and dripping onto his thigh from Ralph.

Half an hour has come and gone when Ralph speaks, still sounding breathless.

'You're the first guy to shag me.' Jack is quiet for a moment, then kisses his temple, long and lingering.

'Will I be the only one?'

'If you want.'

'I just want you, baby.' Ralph hums.

'Didn't you say that you love me? Earlier?' Jack's cheeks heat up, but he plays it off. 

'Depends. What... What would your answer be?' He opens his eyes to find Ralph looking up at him with emotion that would scare Jack if he spent too much time trying to figure out how to describe it.

'I love you, too.'

 

When they kiss, it's slow and lazy - they have all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! we're feckin done binch!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> ill have another fic up soon, but it's gonna be another anthology piece.
> 
> i love all you sinners to bits  
> eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.  
> \- ur mom


End file.
